How to say “no” gracefully. In the lesson on Priorities and Decision Making of the EQUIP Leadership training, we encourage leaders to reflect on how to say “no” gracefully. Since confession is good for the soul, I’m going to confess that applying this principle was difficult for me because I like to help people. I’m sure that a number of you will identify with the challenge I experienced. I’ve learnt with time that when we know what our calling is and what our gifts are, it’s easier to determine the “yes’s” and the “no’s” of life. In the leadership training I give, I meet many people for whom the need to please and/or have the approval of others muddy their decision making process. That’s why it’s important to realise that we have been created, gifted and provided with opportunities “for a purpose”. Armed with this conviction, it’s much easier to accept that when a task does not advance our goal or objective in life, we need to say “no”. However, the way we say no is just as important as deciding to say it. 1) Say “no” to the idea and not to the person. It’s important to make sure that the person understands that we are not rejecting them. We are simply saying “no” to their request. I encourage you to give their idea affirmation but explain that it does not fit with the activities that you need to concentrate your time on. Unfortunately, some people are not transparent and truthful because they are afraid to hurt the feelings of others. This ends up hurting and weakening relations rather than strengthening them. 2) Be honest and respond in the best interest of the person asking. It’s important to make sure that the person knows that we are not choosing the easy response but that we are genuinely interested in helping them. So we need to communicate that our time constraints prevent us from providing the service they deserve. 3) Defer creatively and come up with an alternative. Rather than brushing the person away, take a few minutes to ask a few questions. Serve as a “coach” and help them think of a way for them to complete their task. Give them confidence that they can do it or help them find someone who has the expertise they are needing. Here is the important point! We need to learn that we cannot carry the world on our shoulders. My responsibility is to understand and focus my time and effort on the purpose I have been created and gifted for. With time, I learned that there was a Messiah and it wasn’t me. Have a great day as you focus on your God-given purpose and mission.
Posted on: Thu, 08 Aug 2013 00:57:12 +0000
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