I Believe and Everything will work out perfectly in the end. Yet, I have never felt this stupid in my my life before (No, No, Please just give me this chance to say this without a cooing reply over how smart I am). I simply don’t get Algebra. Simple as that. I shared with my mother how I feel about it and she replied, “Don’t worry, qus. Im the same way. I used to cry doing my Algebra homework”. Oh thats nice; you know, considering Im nothing like my mother and all. LOL I don’t know WHY I leapt into college thinking, “Oh, this will be easy! … Ugh. Like its hard!?! Hello? LOL … Umm. Yeah, Leon. It kinda is… You can’t just charm your way out of a bad grade or smile your way out of something *Just sayin*! LOL Um, Also, You can no longer run and hide in your room- expecting time will mend any broken aspect of your life (Because Its not going to this time, hun). Enough with my melancholy replaying, though. As I alluded yesterday, Monday was longest of all the days. First, I had CHEM. I swan-dove into that failure! LOL I Knew I bombed the exam, but lez be honest. Would it have mattered if I was like the rest of the class who earned an even higher mid-60? … No. My rational right now is to fly through my labs with A’s and bomb the shit out of my tests/quizzes. That way I can at least pass with a C (Ive added the percentages). My Algebra professor even pulled me aside after class to speak with me… Yeah. That was fun. I pleaded, “Your a great person! A wonderful teacher! … You really are! You’re so nice! … I just don’t get… all this.” My hand waxed the general area of the chalkboard, trying to suck the energy out of the numbers so I could kinda see the light; but nothing happened. There were still rows and columns of single numbers and commas underneath exponents and x, y’s and z’s (literally). It remained a black chalkboard with single letters and numbers all slammed together. Further, I braved into the registrars office to add/drop two classes. Then, while I pulled up my sagging pride, I strode into the Financial Aid office letting what little self-esteem I had glow. She explained the process of acceptance of a loan and what needed to be done on my end, but essentially: Its Official. Im going to Patagonia. Loan and all. Our first meeting was a blast (Hubris bite me in the ass, though. I so haughtily believed I wouldn’t need to speak THAT language… Yet here I am)! LOL (Marilu, catch your breath. Stop laughing. Ill need your help most of all.) You know what the highlight will be? I’ll be hiking Patagonia Park (Conservation Patagonia) on my birthday. The day before that, we’ll be hiking on a glacier in another national park. New Years will be celebrated at the base camp in the valley of the Patagonian Mountains… Finally, Ill mention one of my two unmentionable white elephants. It sucks trying to move forward always looking back; hoping he will ask for your attention once more. Within every motion and action, there he appears, smiling, and reminding you of something you may never fully understand. Stop it, Leon. Focus. Chile is calling… PS. I keep hearing how I should major in English. I won’t. EVER. Mainly because I want to be employed OUTSIDE a classroom once I graduate. I hear how I lighten up when I speak about English and apparently I glow. I can’t help it. Some people get that way about Math… I get that way over the thought of articulating things hidden. There’s something cathartic in writing; something nearly spiritual in its capacity to heal… I honestly do hope to include writing somehow in my career… Even education.
Posted on: Tue, 07 Oct 2014 21:44:16 +0000