I, Blogger [Make that I, Miserable (pronounced ME-zer-AB-luh)!] Does God have it in for me? Am I a modern-day Job? Or is America just an ugly, dog-eat-cat place to live? Maybe I am seen as a political liability, or as a political embarrassment, to someone(s), who feel vulnerable as long as I walk the Earth, therefore they are pulling certain strings to make my life miserable, in the hope that I will finally feel so persecuted that I will choose to end my life voluntarily, then they can heave a sigh of relief, gorge themselves on a couple dozen pancakes, and finally enjoy that cigarette that theyve -so- craved all this time! Im sure that the NAABP wouldnt mind if I expired -yesterday-! Ditto for diehard Dems and ditto Reps! But maybe there are others — but, again, folk uniquely positioned to pull the strings that can make my life miserable — who would feel a helluva lot better about themselves, their prospects, if I were not around, connecting all kinds of dots. And to think that -I- think that what I do has merit, when it perhaps causes nothing but deep chagrin all around (sometimes I tell myself that, taking me for a psycho, they are instead afraid that I will kill myself when I get moody, so they try to humor me into thinking that I am special... pretty pathetic, -that-!)! Well, I have news for anybody who has been trying to rig things so that I will take the hint and commit harikiri: I am not the suicidal type (and ditto to those who humor me for fear that I might otherwise fall on my sword)! But between yesterday and today, my own prospects have been altered, dramatically and irrevocably (if I were suicidal, I would use even darker hyperbole): the free/ gratis dental help that I had a dentist appeal for on my behalf has been rejected. I have had an awful foreboding ever since I went to that dentist that things might not go my way, so I have had to speculate on what will be Plan B (you see, sometimes, not even trying, not even making an effort – or not even looking into the prospects, in this case – is less disappointing, as it doesnt involve the risk of rejection, and some non-romantic rejections hurt even more than the romantic variants). Plan B involves me finding another path, one beyond the city, where my disfigurement* will not be too much of a burden. Almost from day one, after the visit to the dentist, I started checking out alternatives, and in fact, I found one that would suit me fine, but since I couldnt commit, and since I was hoping against hope that the world might for once show me its generous side, I said no. * My disfigurement is my lack of teeth in my upper jaw, in front... I once had a spanking new bridge, but it broke almost immediately after I returned to the USA (it was less than 6 months old at the time), and ever since I have been deprived of a social life, because no one whom I would wish to keep company with would have me in that state, and I myself wouldnt want to keep company with anyone who would, as Groucho put it. More and more frequently, people take me for a bum, which is a sad testament to the decline in my feelings of self-worth, I guess, i.e., Im guessing that I project the image of someone whose self-confidence has been grievously eroded. . Maybe my female Korean dentist -did- argue my corner as persuasively as she could, Ill never know. The wording from DentaQuest suggests that the rejection came from them, not from -my- dentist (see what I mean about someone(s) in a position to pull strings who could have engineered this piece of crushing to me news, in the hope that even if this one doesnt kill me, maybe the next one will, and in the meantime, this one will represent a particularly painful nail in my coffin, ultimately leading me along the path that they are setting me up for, to culminate in me eventually committing suicide?). Here is the DentaQuest response, but it seems that Presbyterian Centennial Care had a hand in the decision, as did State of New Mexico Health and Human Services: Our Decision: The Providers request cannot be approved. Reason for Decision: You have missing teeth that your dentist wants to replace with a partial plate. You must have good bone around your other teeth to allow this service. Our dentist looked at your x-rays and says that the bone around your teeth is not good and cannot hold a partial plate so this service is not medically necessary. We have told your dentist this. Please talk to your dentist about other treatment choices. >>>abummer
Posted on: Sat, 09 Aug 2014 05:54:08 +0000
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