I HAVE ALWAYS, ALWAYS HATED MY HAIR. That was - and is - my problem. I cannot take my hair for what it is, i.e. wavy and out of control. So for years and years, I tried to make it into something it was not. And rebond was my answer. Recently, after 10 years of rebond, I decided I was not going to have any more of it. For two reasons: first, my hair was becoming lifeless, and I realized that a wavy hair with life is better than a straight hair without. And second, I learned that among the chemicals they use on the hair during rebond is formaldehyde, and it was downright stupid to submerge myself in formaldehyde before I became a corpse. It was hard sticking to my resolve, but I have proudly been formaldehyde-free for almost 3 years now. Like addicts in withdrawal, I went through depression a lot, and felt ugly and uncomfortable in my own skin. I still do. I fight that by tying my hair into a ponytail most of the time, and focusing on what I have rather than on what I do not have. I has not been easy, but Rolly, as always, has a way of making things easier. This morning, he came up to me while I was hard at work answering PMs on FB, and whispered: Momi, did I tell you that I love your hair? Dad! I said, half mad. Something true please! Its true! he said. There is nothing about you that I dont love. Thank God for this man I now call husband. But to those of you who wonder if I have found a solution to my problem, I say that I have. The problem is not my hair. It is my attitude towards my hair. I refuse to accept it for what it is, and I try very hard to change it into something it is not. If I can only accept it for what it is and see the beauty of its being, then I will be okay. But dont ask me if I have implemented the solution, because Id say that I still have not. I continue to dislike it, tho less and less every day. One day, I will get there. Just give me time.
Posted on: Wed, 24 Sep 2014 06:01:56 +0000
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