I HAVE NO CLUE....WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO YOU? How do you know where your going...when you dont know where youve been~ 3 Door Down ;) Where your going...Do any of us ever truly know? I know I had a few clues to where some of the paths I chose along the way would take me too, but I didnt really care, and went down them anyways...But its the ones that you go down, without a clue of where they will lead you too, that has seemed to interest me lately. Or is it in the reflections of what has happened afterwards that I am mostly intrigued with tonight? Is it where I m going, that comes from where I have already been? And if so...How did I get there, and here, in the first place? Now Im not LANDING IN LONDON or anything extreme like that. Instead of going to another far away place, I am right here, and a strange debate has developed inside of me tonight after speaking with my sister, Ms. Connie, back in Iowa for the last hour or so. You see I miss the farm and I miss her...Her place is lovingly named Happy Valley for many different reasons, but for me it a piece of my life that will always be a happy place to reflect, remember and hopefully re-visit as often as possible.... It was my Sister who had to make the final attempt to have me look at what I was doing to myself, what I had become, and how close I was to that final day, and the ultimate reality that an early death was going to bring....She tried to do it with a simple question which she thought would be enough to have me see the full scope of the damage I was doing to myself and the world around me, and that question was....Why? It was that day, with that question, that she also found an answer for her own life, and when I didnt have one for myself, she shared what it was with me....It was Enough is enough, quit, or move on, I cant watch you die... She certainly had just about all the pain I could inflict on another human being, thru my constant infliction of it upon myself...So how could I blame her for saving her own life, when it also forced me into saving my own? I cant and dont...Not in this lifetime.... Our talks sometimes turn to what it was like all those nights, some 6 plus years ago, because she wants me to remember how I felt, and how far away I am from that now. She wants to celebrate another life spared instead of once being a part of one that was almost taken away...In doing so she also helps me with recognizing the endless possibilities that my life has in it now, and also that the best is yet to come for me...I tend to agree most days now, and for that I can never be grateful enough, to her or to my HIM for giving me that one more chance, I woke up the next day wanting o badly........ Her story is part of mine, and mine of hers, and in turn it also a part of my soul that wa refreshed and rejuvenated enough to start out on a new path of adventures, taking all of my experiences, memories and actions along the way, building as they go, becoming who I am...and also adding to what I am, in the process. Each day adding up upon itself to give the right picture of lived for today, and hopeful for tomorrow...Given back as the gift it truly is...with one difference...Choices...and the ability to not repeat the same mistakes over and over again through them... All still being written in this story of life, indexed and ready...waiting for the next book to read....or write...till the pages run out.... thanks for reading, Lance adventure bound Rome ;) we continue because we can youtu.be/xxToLUHeCCM
Posted on: Sat, 23 Aug 2014 06:18:46 +0000
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