I HAVE THE WEIRDEST DREAMS. For those good at dream interpretation, boy, do I have a challenge for you!!! It’s hilarious and I promise it is worth the read! My dream last night: JEFFREY MYERS and I were driving around my old gated community in Fullerton,CA in a golf cart at night. There were military people without uniforms blocking every street we were trying to drive through, and we finally snuck past one. All we wanted to do was dig army trenches and hide out and sleep in them because we were on the hunt for magic shrubs that emanated sparkling blue light, and we were trying to pick them and take them home for some reason. Just then, it turned out that were we stealing the shrubs from the front yard of BO TOXICUH. He didn’t care, he welcomed us inside. Bo was building a stage costume for me because he complained my tits were TOO big and they were flopping around everywhere when I performed and that it was just too damn distracting (even though I’m a small B-Cup?) He fashioned me an extremely constrained post-apocalyptic military top that strapped them down, cut-off at the midriff with matching army pants and a grenade belt, and made me do a special dance in the mirror to make sure I wasn’t bouncing around all over the place. Notes were scrawled all over the bathroom mirror in lipstick. He told me I “wasn’t doing it right, and that he would be right back”. He changed in the bathroom and came out in a replica of the same outfit he made for me, but this time, he was wearing blue eyeshadow, and was wearing his hair in pigtails! (lol) He made me do the special “don’t let your tits bounce” dance in the mirror along side him and we laughed and did this to 90’s hip-hop. There were pink wigs strewn about everywhere on the floor, the doorknobs, the bed, and then his mom burst through the door in shock and awe, her jaw-dropping... Flash forward in a wormhole, all of a sudden, me, JEFFREY MYERS, BO TOXICUH, JAMES BONNER, KEVIN MICHAEL GUEST, MIRNA VERA, FRANCIS SZYSKOWSKI, ANABEL DFLUX, and UBERDON VITO, are at my house in LA, and MICHAEL ROSNER is showing us his new Asian scientist girlfriend on the computer. She is wearing a white lab coat, no makeup, has short black-hair parted on the side and wire-frame glasses. She is Skyping with all of us and we are all gathering around the computer. She is a professor at MIT and is studying the processes of how Hermaphrodites are formed in the womb and starts showing us pictures. She shows HD close-up cropped pictures of deformed genitalia that is considered the “null” category and it looks like looking through a kaleidoscope of flesh. All different flesh patterns, like even starfish and weird dotted maps to places that dont exist. Completely bizarre, and we were really nauseated, but Roz’s girlfriend wouldn’t stop showing us these pictures! We are all of a sudden back on tour, in our tour bus, and are with JANAN KERRY, GABRIEL GONZALEZ, TIM TOSALES III, and CHRISTOPHER BRIAN MARIN. We are all discussing how Janan and Chris are the biggest hippies of all time because they have hippie super powers, and its so beneficial to the earth and to the animals that they exist because they are so hippieish, and that Gabriel and Tim better step up their game cause they are not hippie-ish enough and are too Mexican and like Tequila too much (wtf?) Somehow we are all teleported to my old summercamp back in Fullerton, and we are all inside the camps’ main gym. It smells like sweat and dirty laundry and a bunch of chicks are playing basketball but they smell like dirty men who haven’t showered after working out for days. I noticed there are framed pictures of CHRISTY REINA AKAYUKI everywhere on the gym’s walls for winning tons of soccer awards, and that she even has huge soccer trophies in the camps’ display cases, and there are even tons of bouquets of flowers and sashes everywhere for her. I guess she is some kind of major soccer celebrity? We all decided it was way too smelly to stay inside the gym, and all walked outside. We all sit down on the bleachers on the grass, and Christy is up accepting some other soccer award all smiling, and there are photographers everywhere lightbulbs flashing, and flowers being thrown, and her hair is blowing in the wind, except it’s like a mile long in a side ponytail. Then another soccer game is going on in front of us and it’s all women. Just then we notice RYAN MERRICK and SCARLETT ROSENBERG are there sitting right next to us, and we have no idea how they got there. Ryan is pissed because he said “I only came here because I thought there were going to be hot, underage, teenage girls”. We all laughed, and Scarlett got super pissed and hit him in the right arm. We continued to watch the soccer game while the awards ceremony went on, and then when night fell music came on and some kind of HUGE outdoor festival parade with giant balloons happened and then... I WOKE UP. PRETTY...BIZARRE. Ok. What do you got for me. Any takers on interpreting this mess? Good luck!!!
Posted on: Fri, 12 Sep 2014 03:56:08 +0000