I POST IT SO YOU CAN LEARN Goodmorning, man of God, pls be patient & read my very long text because I really want to explain everything in details so you can understand me properly and help me before I crumble my home with my own hands. After reading your post on the NAGGING WOMEN I became very much touched because my husband complains everyday that Im nagging so much. Sometimes, he gets mad at me and leave the house for somedays in the name of business (lies atimes) without even a phone call although Im not suspecting him to be doing anything stupid because I know him too well but I cannot bear the fact that Im the reason why my husband runs away from home to his friends when I need him seriously at home and I will sleep alone with my only kid for several days without knowing where my husband is and with time, he might learn what he was not doing before. Money is not my problem because he gives me more than enough but I need him around. Atimes, even when I call him by myself, he hardly picks my calls or cuts it in a haste. I believe its all my fault because while I was yet a spinster my ex-friend also complained about my nagging attitude alot and even left me because of it till I later met this my present husband who married me finally. Pls evangelist, Im writing this with tears and a broken heart because my wonderful husband is slimming down everyday and me too. My home is getting worse by the day; my only son calls for daddy always. Man of God, this is not the home I dreamed about. Im always like a single lady in my husbands house. He vowed never to lay a finger on me but he avoids me like a lepa. I can stay more than a month without having a single hour of discussion with my own husband. The worse part of it is that I dont even know when I am nagging. I say what everybody says yet he says im nagging. If not that my ex-fiance had complained about it too, I would have said that my husband is not saying the truth about me but when my ex-fiance even left me because of this, I think Im really nagging. Pls help me. MY ADVICE: My dear, theres no particular sentence called NAGGING, thats why you can say what others say and your own will be nagging. What makes your words nagging can be the MANNER AND TIME you say them. Some of the things you say might be very much unnecessary or at a very wrong time. May be you always want to rub shoulders with your husband with words. Personally I dont like when a lady shuns everything I say. Its very irritating if she opposes any topic I bring up. My dear, this issue should be handled on your knees because there are some characteristical flaws one may have which is related to his/her temperament. Science may say your temperamental flaws are natural but the Holy Spirit has cure to every human challenge (I want to believe youre born again) yet you have a part to play. Practical things you will do to help you stop this nagging attitude is to: *COUNT YOUR WORDS. Dont talk as if your mouth is a nuzzle of AK47 except youre discussing what doesnt irritate him. Dont be too fast to say any slight thing that comes to your mind. You must learn the control of your tongue. Even as a christian its very much uncalled for to allow your tongue work like a water tap. *AVOID ANTAGONISM. Try as much as possible to restrict yourself from any form of unnecessary antagonising. Stop opposing everything your husband says no matter how small. Form the habbit of saying things like: YES SIR! OK HONEY! ALRIGHT DEAR! THANK YOU DADDY! Let such lovely and respectful words fill your mouth. Avoid saying things like: *BUT WHY? *WHATEVER! *SO BE IT *FOR CHRIST SAKE, GET OFF ME! *I DONT CARE! *WHY MUST I DO IT? *FORGET IT! *LEAVE ME ALONE! *STOP IT NOW! *I CAN NEVER DO IT! ETC. It doesnt mean you dont have to talk or that your opinion is never necessary, NO! But you must be very constructive so that you dont say things in a very wrong manner. Let me give you a practical example: assuming your husband is eating some food you served him and suddenly says, Honey, did you cut these vegetables by yourself or the maid did? Then you say, I cut it myself but why asking? Then your husband who is now afraid of your mouth would say, Nevermind! Its fine a good woman would definilty suspect that something might be wrong with the vegetables, just that the husband doesnt want to start a war and she would even plead with the husband NOT to hide his discovery but a nagging woman would allow her mouth to vomit profusely: I dont blame you, all you know is to complain and yet you cannot even cook ordinary yam, if youre done with the meal let me come and pack the plates One thing I personally dont like is a woman who starts a fight with everything you say even when you mean NO harm. She has a particular way of understanding everything you say with no second thought to the point where youre always afraid to correct her because she will be ready to lash you on the spot
Posted on: Fri, 11 Jul 2014 11:00:54 +0000