I SAW JESUS BUT FELT SO UNWORTHY!part 2 The footprints kept coming by at a steady pace, and then I looked ahead of the footprints, to see if I could speed this up … to see who was making the footprints. Then I saw feet … and there was a white, flowing garment or robe going up from the feet. In front of the feet there were no footprints, so I knew it was these feet making the footprints I had been seeing. Then I concentrated my focus ahead of the feet to see which direction this person was going, and shortly thereafter I saw a light come out of the corner of the ceiling of the cabin. The light grew quickly in intensity and soon exploded into glistening brilliance, fully engulfing the whole room. This is very hard to explain -- there was like music that accompanied this radiant brilliance, but it was like I wasn’t really hearing the music, but rather feeling the music. Also in this brilliant bluish-white light was a love that was totally indescribable. A love you can’t find words to describe -- impossible to describe in fact, other than you just never want to leave that indescribably awesome and total love ever again. We had a fire place in the cabin, and I remember thinking very briefly while fully immersed in this encounter, that while the fire in the fireplace is going, if we didn’t leave a window open just a little, a person could possibly be overcome by smoke buildup, and I was thinking that evidently we had forgotten to crack open a window and I was either dying, or actually had died, do to smoke inhalation. My wife and my children mean the whole world to me, but I never gave them a thought the whole while this was happening. My only thought was this is death, and this is really cool, because I want to stay in this light and presence of love forever. It warmed my face; it warmed my entire body. I could feel it all over me. There was something about it that you just couldn’t turn away from. At one point I looked at my feet at the end of my bed, and I thought: Well … I can’t be dead if I can see my feet and the end of the bed. I couldn’t figure out - I was trying to rationalize – make some logical sense out of what was happening to me. Next I saw those same feet that were making the footprints in the snow … I saw them descending from the ceiling of the cabin. They descended slowly but steadily; then I saw the robe ... and at this point every hair on my body was standing straight out! I was electrified. I instantly knew Who it was as well. I wasn’t religious at all prior to this so I didn’t know Jesus, but I surely knew Who this was I was looking at. It was Jesus. He kept coming down out of the ceiling, and I was fully captivated – mesmerized - watching Him. What was striking was that although it was just a very small room I was in at the cabin, it seemed like now it was an immeasurable distance. It was like I wasn’t even in that room anymore and maybe I even wasn’t. Soon I saw His shoulders come down through the ceiling, and then His head. His hair was thick – golden – reminding me almost like a lion’s mane. But once His face was clear to see, I couldn’t look at it, but had to turn away. (That still kind of bothers me). I felt dirty; I just didn’t feel worthy enough to look at Him. The way I had led my life just came into my sudden, full remembrance. This too is so difficult to describe, yet a sense of just how unworthy I was to be in His presence began to sicken me. I don’t remember exactly how much time went by, by while I was looking away from His face … I told Him I loved Him, and I asked Him to forgive me. I did both of those things three times. I remember that distinctly. When I finished saying that - I knew this wasn’t just a dream, because I had tears - I could feel everything that was going on … and after saying what I said to Him … I was suddenly relieved from something. I felt much different. I was just suddenly released from so much pain - hurt - I had known up to that point. It seemed like those painful things of the past just didn’t matter now. I then willingly looked back to see His face, but I couldn’t see it. It was in the same location it had been when I turned my face away, but I couldn’t see it. I don’t know what would have happened had I not turned my face away ... if He would have allowed me to see His face or not. All I know is that I just couldn’t see it now, though I tried. It doesn’t matter to me now, because what I experienced was just so unbelievably wonderful that I don’t know how it could have ended much better, other than being allowed to stay in His presence for all eternity. Besides, I know I’ll be able to see His face one day, so I can wait patiently for that time to come. And – I’m going to thank Him personally for what He did for me! While still in His presence, I noticed His hands were at His side, with His palms facing me. I wasn’t able to see any nail scars in them, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t there. He didn’t audibly tell me He loved me and forgave me, but it was just understood. I had a full-well knowing he both loved me and forgave me for my past wrongs. And I also had the knowing that if I would just give everything in me to Him, I would be safe – I’d be saved. The encounter was just about to end, and I noticed His robe wasn’t made of cloth like yours or mine would be. It was part of the light -- it was the brightest intensity of the light. It appeared to me that He was separated by different levels of light if this makes much sense. Like – He WAS light … yet He was layers of light as well. Words just aren’t adequate to try to explain what I saw. And as much as He was light, He also WAS love. He didn’t just radiate the place with love – I just knew that He was the very source of love. The very essence of love. If someone had asked me at that moment if I could feel His love, I would have said, “Much more than THAT! I feel it so strongly I can SEE it! I am LOOKING at love!” Shortly after that he went back up into the ceiling like He had come: light, love and all. Then it got dark like before, and cold like before, but everything stayed with me like I had felt in His presence … except for the feeling of warmth from the light. At first I felt bad because He had left me, but then I thought … Well – you know ... how many people get an experience like this from God?! Then reality returned. I heard the crackling of the fire … and it just like blew me back into the bed of what had just happened to me. I lay there, looking up at the ceiling … thinking … Wow! Why did He do this for me? But this much I knew. Jesus forgave me. I was saved! I was spiritually born again! I was now in love with Jesus, and nothing would ever stand in my way of living the rest of my life trying to please Him. I owe Him. Oh how I owe Him for doing what He did, when He didn’t have to at all. Well … let me tell you my prayer life intensified about 100% at that moment! I spent the rest of that night, and all that next day, praising God. See … praising God was totally new to me. I had never done that before. Why – I would go months and months without even mentioning His name, so praising Him? No way! Part of that next day I just stood around with my mouth hanging open. (Obviously not hunting). Beyond praising and praying, I didn’t know what else to do, yet I wanted to do something more to please Him. I just didn’t know what else there was I could do. I cried, I laughed; I kept thanking Him over and over. At one point during that day while praying to Him, I asked Him what else I could do for Him. He answered me. I know He answered me. As quickly as I asked, I had this sudden knowing that I was to share this testimony with others when the opportunity presented itself, which I have.
Posted on: Sun, 03 Aug 2014 02:38:24 +0000
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