I almost caused a car accident tonight. It would have been totally my fault, I was distracted and driving too fast, not taking the time to notice that there were parked cars ahead in my lane. I slammed on the brakes, the tires locked up of course and skidded quite a ways. I was sure I was going to hit the parked car but thankfully my car somehow, some way, stopped within literally six or less inches from hitting the parked car. I wasnt hurt, the parked car wasnt damaged, my car wasnt damaged, and even more thankfully no one outside of my car was hurt. But theres melancholy to the moment. Because my first thought in the moment that I rode my brakes was not I hope that I dont hurt or kill anyone or I hope everything ends up alright. My first thought was This is going to cost me a lot of money. For those who dont know, Im not in the best financial situation right now. Not that I am in complete dire straights, but Im pretty much living paycheck to paycheck and have been for some time. This isnt a cry for help or me trying to panhandle to anyone, Im just explaining why that thought bothers me. I know, as in most facets of my life, that I really have no one to blame but myself for my situation. I was in a pretty good way monetarily for a long time. And not that I made the stupidest decisions, buying my house was a good one for one, but I could have been wiser with my money in the past and I could have sought employment much sooner than I did, which would have allowed me to save the money I inherited from my father a lot easier. Anyway, my point is that I hate that I thought about money in a time of crisis before anything else. Again, not really anyone to point a finger at but myself, but its a trend that Ive been struggling with for the past few weeks. I question going out with friends because of the cost, I dont want to request days off from work for fear that the money I missed out on that day might prove to be very necessary very soon. I guess Im just saying that I havent been in the greatest mental states lately, and its boiled over to the point that I can no longer keep it to myself. Im really not sure why I wanted to post this all to facebook other than because it somehow makes me feel better to have done so. That was a really long, probably boring read and for anyone whos stuck through it this long, thank you. Adam
Posted on: Sat, 18 Oct 2014 06:03:41 +0000
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