I am a doctor. On good days on bad days on indifferent days. I see medicine everywhere I go. Next to my fundamental belief system, my love for my family, medicine comes next. I have been a patient in the local systems from health centre to public hospital to the private doctor and private hospital. I have been a relative and friend of a patient at different times. I have felt the angst of waiting, of unsureity, scrubbing bench, anger at the medical professionals, the grass is greener on the other side syndrome ie if we were in private or abroad, disappointment, grief of loss and the wonder if someone didnt do enough, would things have progressed more favorably. That being said, Medicine is a Stochastic Art. Ie the same set of actions may give different results. I have been deeply involved in medicine and I know what goes on behind those doors. I am in a high intensity field. My colleagues by nature, despite the facade that may be put on, generally have an intense personal drive to ensure our patients get the best care. Our contracts state 8-4. State a lunch hour. State compensatory days for the weekends we work. Note I said state. I cannot recall the last time I had a lunch hour. In between rushing from clinic, to the wards, to the operating theatres, to the lab, to the radiology departments and other departments, I may get to eat something. As for compensatory days. I am reliably informed that all of the 200 and something days I am owed, is as good as lost. A clinic for example may have at least 60 patients. The wards may have at least 40 in patients and at least about 5 out patient reviews. There are 8 working hours. 4 house officers. One patient takes at least 15 mins to be seen and can easily run into an hour depending on which examinations need to be performed. Theres writing of notes, bloods to be taken and chased, procedures to be done, management to be discussed and implemented. At times, we have to be the nurse, the courier, the attendant, the counselor and the complaint receiver to ensure proper care is received. We feel just as bad when cases are cancelled or the equipment is not functional. There are days my colleagues and myself have left past 10 at night on an 8-4 day to complete work and surgical procedures. NO ONE CARES (apart from family and loved ones). On an on call day, I , along with some of my colleagues, work sometimes close to 36 hrs..to return to work for 8 am next day. My eyelids sometimes never meet, apart from blinking. I have to switch gears from the screaming, purposely difficult person, the sometimes physically aggressive person and relatives to see the normal persons. Its hard to switch off. I have to go from doing a surgical procedure, standing on my feet, to rush to another procedure without a break. People see things at face value. I have been waiting for over an hour. Do I respond and say the truth? I was just trying to make sure someone else on another ward can be still alive. Or I was in a difficult surgical procedure or I was with relatives counselling on possible death or death nope. Patient confidentiality. I apologise, hold my tongue and continue on. There are days when I am grateful we have the ability to control our bladder functions and we have fat to give us energy. Ive worked 24 plus with just breakfast. My chronic acid reflux is a testament to this. Sometimes things go wrong. My intern or less experienced co house officer may not hear or interpret what I said and write the plan incorrectly. The nurses may not fully be able to implement the plan due to the volume of patients. Blood results or scans may not come in time or may be lost in the system, and we have to repeat. Patient requests get lost. Our minds have to be in hyperdrive, sometimes topped up with caffeine. In all my perfectionist wishes, with rushing from one thing to the next, I may forget to do something. I may not fully understand what my consultants plan should entail. When things go wrong, especially a poor outcome or death, I still fight back tears, because the person who feels the worst, is me. A tired doctor. Just one of many in a chronically overworked, tired system. I come home to try to catch up on work for studying, to become a better, more knowledgeable doctor. Then repeat. I have worked in non medical jobs(notice plural) before. Nothing compares to this. I dare you to live in my shoes for a week or that of my colleagues, and not complain. (Also have Besson st. or Belmont Police station on speed dial.) The government opens new wings, imports new doctors. They dont seem to see or listen when we ask for basic equipment and medication for our patients. They rather get more doctor Imports (that dont have to write any entrance exams). As much as john public and media thinks we play with lives, we certainly dont. Why arent the results of investigations absolving medical staff or showing the patient as wrong, published? The public lashing that is given on a daily basis is sad. The response of our government to get more voter confidence, unfortunate but politically understandable. The response and apparent lack of support from MPATT and doctors in high places, disheartening. Unfortunately the people to suffer is John public, my friends and relatives. And fortunately for you all, Most of us doctors, will continue to work for the love of our craft. When things go according to plan, as it does on most days, its a beautiful thing. Addendum: I, because its personal but I know many will have a similar experience.
Posted on: Mon, 10 Nov 2014 17:37:29 +0000