I am absolutely devastated by Robin Williams death - he was my absolute hero, but I have always looked into his eyes and seen an un-happy man. In my life I have been an entertainer - a DJ - 3 times I am going to spill the beans now because I want people to understand In my first job I used to DJ back in the 70s and 80s. 5 or 6 times a week. You, as the entertainer, are always on show. You have to smile. Everyone feels down and not 100% occasionally, but you still need to perform. The punters have come to be entertained. Its your customers best night..... No matter how shit you feel you need to perform. I am a small potato compared to this great man, but I remember working a disco in 1982, on the day my father died. It wasnt the clients problem, the show must go on. But as soon as the curtain went down it hit me and it hit me big style, depression like you cannot believe. 30 years later I still havent forgiven myself for leaving my mother on her own - but thats show business. Similarly I used to suffer in my 3rd re-incarnation as a DJ. In 2008 to 2012. You cannot be on top form all of your life. Sometimes you think.... I dont want to be here. But as the star of he show you need to be. You need to give it all, no matter how you feel inside. I loved my time as the DJ, but my responsibilities were tiny compared to Robin. I feel so much for him and his family, it must be awful, depression in this form is bad, but its the industry expectation that must also be held accountable. How can you be funny all of the time you are on public view? I sometimes use to puke prior to a gig, I would sleep for hours before, with depression, but the show needed to go on, a few beers and I was fine ( I was lucky I only needed a few ) , but the pre - gig nerves were there and its dreadful, believe me. I feel for Robin. I know in a small way what he has been through and I can understand. It must have been hell for him behind the curtain, but the showman took over when the curtain was open - what an awful and depressing life for him behind the curtain. God bless you, the mate I never met, but I know how you felt. #robinwilliams
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 20:21:22 +0000
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