I am afraid of forgetting. We were together for eight years. What if another eight years pass and I dont notice that it has been eight years? What if I carry on with my life and just ... forget? I say I can never forget him, but ... I mean, what if I do? What if I cant remember the sound of his laugh, or how his hugs felt? What if time takes those things away from me? How terrible will I feel if, one day, I try to remember something about him and its gone? What if, in twenty years, all I have are pictures and the memory that my life used to be very different? Living like Im going to lose everything that Im holding onto makes me feel like Im running away from the possibility another death - the death of my memory of him. I cant move on, because moving on means replacing life with him with life without him. A new life doing different things besides remembering him. A life where I might forget the little details. I can never get my old life back, but Id like to remember it for a while. Cherish it while its still fresh in my memory. Not be afraid of losing it so I can stop grasping at every single morsel, filling my arms with so much that I start dropping pieces. I dont know how to move forward without trying to stay where I was. Where we were.
Posted on: Sun, 14 Dec 2014 04:43:27 +0000
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