I am always fascinated by the mystery that lies in words. The way we speak them can make the situation alter in a second. Most of you may have read my tryst with Spice Jet and I realised that I used just one phrase in my desperation to catch the flight, Please, only you can help me. The lady and the manager possibly were encouraged to help me as the emphasis only you may have given their mind a positive feeling of doing a good deed. We mostly miss out on the opportunity to do good deeds because we are not spoken to in the right way. We must always be aware when and how we are being provoked to respond negatively. Lets look at the words and phrases which make us enter a negative thought space. Statements that generally begin with, You are ....followed by a negative word like dont know or cant do or always behave gets you into a negative framework before you respond. Think of a statement, You are always behaving or speaking rudely. Or You dont know anything....listen to me. Another provoking statement is when the word Always or Never is used. It implies that your negative behavior is repeated over and over again. Is gets your gut and you flare up. Slowly as a you are spoken to in such directive and absolute terms you begin to form an opinion about yourself. You start saying to yourself, Can I never do anything right always? This personally directed question is the beginning of low self confidence. Many people go through such angst because they have been spoke to in this manner in their childhood. This is the beginning of sorrow for they hate themselves and think they have no abilities. Watch your words....if they are hurtful change them and see how your inner dialogue and communication with others transforms your life. Lets look at a Mulla Nasruddin story which explains this beautifully. One day Mulla Nasrudin saw a crowd gathered around a pond. A Moslem priest with a huge turban on his head had fallen in the water and was calling for help. People were leaning over and saying, Give me your hand Reverend! Give me your hand! But the priest didnt pay attention to their offer to rescue him; he kept wrestling with the water and shouting for help. Finally Mulla Nasrudin stepped forward: Let me handle this. He stretched out his hand toward the priest and shouted at him, Take my hand! The priest grabbed Mullas hand and was hoisted out of the pond. People, very surprised, asked Mulla for the secret of his strategy. It is very simple, he replied. I know this miser wouldnt give anything to anyone. So instead of saying Give me your hand, I said, take my hand, and sure enough he took it.
Posted on: Fri, 26 Sep 2014 03:55:06 +0000
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