I am an emotional wreck. Im supposed to be so strong but Im not. I was completely robbed of my strength, my confidence, my dignity.....the psychological abuse I endured the past 7 years has literally left me broken and damaged. I dont know if Ill ever overcome the challenge of being made my whole self again. Physical bruises have healed but the emotional scars have taken their toll on me. After having the man you loved more than anything else in life constantly belittle you, intimidate you, control you in every way, ruin your friendships, dog cuss you out daily, telling you how ugly youve become, how fat you are, how worthless you are, call you a whore, white trash, a stupid B, a Fat F**k, crazy a** C*NT, and the list could go on for miles....I can honestly say I will never be the same again. How did I deserve to be treated like that and told thats him, thats how he is, I must accept him. Yet someone else is treated with honor and respect and gets everything I was promised. Why does this hurt so badly? I mean he destroyed me like he said he was going to. Im so happy to be free from the daily torment I had to live with. Out of the prison I was forced to call living the good life. How is his family so proud of the man they raised him to be? A man that wants total control over everything and takes all his anger out of the woman he says I love you to. He told me last October, he was going to make my life a living hell because he hates my Fn Guts. He has succeeded at doing that. He has hurt me far worse than anything Ive ever been through in my life. How can I ever trust men again? Was that his goal? He was always so jealous that I truly believe in my heart that he did this to me to try to kill me. That he will NOT succeed at! But I still ask myself everyday...how did I let this happen? How did I fall in love with such a horrible person. What is Gods reason for putting me through all this? When will my blessing arrive out of all of this? The ONLY good thing that came from that boy is Carter. A gift given to me on my own birthday that will be a priceless treasure forever. My two boys are what keeps me going in this life. Im sharing this with all of you because Im a human. My heart is hurting and I cant understand why!!!! But maybe, just maybe, sharing this testimony with you all will help answer the question of WHY did this happen to ME?
Posted on: Wed, 05 Nov 2014 12:07:43 +0000