I am back in Miami, encased I n my hotel for the next three weeks more of which I will write about in the blog today. So last night I went to the local Publix here in Doral or Las Publixo as its known here in Latin America. All I needed was some bottled water, some cheese and other non carb food ( lost 8 pounds in the last three weeks by the way ) and some toiletries, shower gel, deodorant and hemorrhoid cream. So, I headed to the check out with my basket and suddenly I saw that there were only three ladies behind the registers scanning the bar codes. But there were dozens of these self-service checkout thingies. Now, I don’t know if you have these where you are from, but I had no bloody clue what to do and I am sure they are designed with the specific intention of driving shoppers into a rabid dog style rage. There are quite a few things about these barcode-hungry terminators that make me want to go to the Vegan aisle, take off all my clothes and crap in a box of Tofu. The sign as you approach these lifeless automated checkouts says that the “touch screen is easy to use.” I should have bought a pen just so I could scribble “my arse” after the word “easy.” Amongst the things I had bought included a 12-pack of Evian water and a tube of hemorrhoid cream. The scales couldn’t tell the difference between the weight of 12 bottles of water and the weight of a tube of Preparation H! Now, while there is no actual person helping you, each checkout has a stern looking lady with a beard who glares suspiciously at everything you’re trying to scan in case you’re shoplifting your purchases or, worse still, taking more than one plastic carrier bag. However, the single most hateful thing about self-service checkout machines is the electronic voice that loudly informs you that there is now “an unexpected item in the bagging area” when you place something completely expected in the bagging area. Where do they get these voices and it’s not just these check out thingies either? The main reason this is so annoying is that, by definition, anything that I placed in the bagging area has more than likely come from the shelves of the very supermarket you are in so why the sodding heck can anything you have placed in the bagging area not in any way be described as unexpected can it? I bought from here, you ignoramus bastard machine I only wish I could surprise you with an item you certainly aren’t expecting such as if I slapped my gentleman’s sausage on the bagging area……………………although it would probably register as “ one baby carrot.” Anyway, as you can see I am back after 6 days at home and ready to be at your service here on Facebook and on the blog so thanks again for allowing to be away for a while. I have a flight to New York on Thursday so between now and then I am here for you. I just answered Erin Bates and will work from there as usual with apologies to all those who have to re-post. I would also like to say a huge thanks to those who helped me while I was away. So, glad to be back with you and hope all is well cheers
Posted on: Mon, 28 Oct 2013 15:28:12 +0000
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