I am feeling lost. But that is okay. Because so is the Shechina. I just can’t write this week. I’m really trying. But the words and the inspiration and the truth are just not flowing forth. So this is my truth: I’m a little lost. While I’ve been busy running the first week of a women’s learning program I started here in Tzfat and working many hours at the mikveh, I have been feeling lost – homeless. This week was the fast of the 17th of Tammuz. A day that was not so good for the Jews. It was the day that Moshe broke the tablets of the ten commandments when he came down from Mount Sinai and saw the Jews engaging in idol worship. It was the day that the walls of the old city of Jerusalem were breached. And it is the beginning of what we call, “the three weeks” which is a time of mourning and bad luck for the Jews and during which the Beit HaMikdash (the holy temple) was being defiled, culminating on the 9th of Av, the day that both Temples were destroyed (the first in 423BCE and the second in 69BCE). (The 9th of Av [the end of the three weeks] is also the day that many Jews were massacred in Betar, Jews were expelled from England in 1290, Jews were banished from Spain in 1492, and WWI began on this day, which was the precursor and led to the events of WWII…it is basically a terrible day of mourning and destruction). We learn that the Shechina, the divine feminine presence of HaShem, dwelt with the Beit HaMikdash in Jerusalem. Since the destruction, she has no home, and wanders, feeling lost. Why am I telling you all of this terribly sad information? In this week’s parsha, Pinchas (a very righteous man’s name), the five daughters of Tzelafchad ask for the right to inherit their father’s portion in Eretz Yisrael (the land of Israel) after his passing. The sages say that they go wandering from each level of authority to another, asking for legal permission. Welcome to Israeli bureaucracy! They are sent from local government to senate to this and to that, each one saying the next had their answer. So the five sisters wait for the entire nation of Israel to assemble and ask Moshe in front of everyone so that there is no escape. Sometimes laws are told to us straight out. What we can and cannot do. And sometimes they are taught to us through lessons. Our sages say that of course the women would inherent the land, but this story was told to teach us a lesson. There are many teachings in this story, but I’ll only share a snippet of the great lessons here. This story takes place right after the decree that we would have to spend forty years in the desert for the sin of the spies. These women are already ready for their portion in Eretz Yisrael! Besides being ready, they have the emunah (faithfulness) that one day the Jews WILL return to Eretz Yisrael! I believe that they were sent around from one place to another to bring them to the point where they had to ask in front of the entire assembly in order to make a statement to the Jews that we ARE going towards Eretz Yisrael and we ARE going to settle there and we ARE going to get out of the desert. To remind them what the ultimate goal is. Even though the Jews just received this harsh punishment of forty years of being in the desert and forty generations of men dying out, these five women bring them hope of home. Reb Shlomo Carlebach says a beautiful thing about this seemingly disproportionate punishment. He says that it all comes from love. When I don’t care about somebody and they step on my toe, no harm no foul. But when somebody I really love is careless enough to step on my toe that they knew was already hurting, I am so much more upset. Phish says it best, “Each betrayal begins with trust.” These women were tapping into the aspect of love. EVEN THOUGH there was such a harsh punishment against the Jews, they KNEW that it was only because HaShem loved us so much that He could be so hurt by us and therefore there was cause to hope for the day that we WOULD return home. So while the Shechina, the five daughters of Tzelafchad, and I all are feeling lost and wandering, it is important to remember what it is all for and where we are all headed. It was in the merit of the deeds of their father that the five women should still get a portion in Eretz Yisrael and it is in the merit of our forefather, Avraham, that we all deserve, however undeserving we might seem to be, a portion in the world to come – ultimate redemption – Eretz Yisrael. Just as HaShem loved Avraham, he loves us, his descendants, and promised us each our own specific portion in the land of Israel. May we never forget that love. May we all be blessed to feel the love that comes with punishment, the happiness that is borne of sorrow and the hope of home that comes with being lost. May we be blessed to experience that THIS 9th of Av is turned from a day of mourning into a day of ecstatic joy as we rebuild the temple instead of watching it be destroyed. Shabbat Shalom
Posted on: Fri, 28 Jun 2013 07:39:55 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015