I am grateful for lazy Sundays. Slept in; well, woke up early as my son was leaving for the gay pride parade, Then went back to sleep. Slept late. Took it very easy. Meditated, fell back to sleep. Cooked lunch for MK. About 2:30 I started cooking my favorite meal: pot roast. Of everything I have ever cooked in my many years of professional restaurants, chef training, and teaching would-be cooks, braising beef with vegetables is something I adore and put a lot of love into. Starting with my Nanas Le Crueset French braising pan, I sear the meat, add chopped vegetable mirepoix (carrots, onion, celery, garlic), plus tomato paste, deglaze, add stock, herbs; boil, then cover and simmer for hours-- infusing the entire house with the intoxicating aroma of meat, garlic and herbs merrying. With dinner on it way, I spent the afternoon catching up with a few friends/family members online and by phone. Confirmed phone interview #5 for Monday. Looked at photos and read posts about how fun yesterdays DHS reunion concert was. Finished the pot roast by reducing the braising liquid, blending it into a puree. then sauteing more carrots, onions, celery and chopped garlic to add to the puree and enhance the fork tender meat. Simmered the meat, sauce and veggies to perfection while I prepared the Yukon gold mashed potatoes. Just as I was about to serve dinner, the phone rang for the first time all day. My sons voice was shaky. He said Mom I ffffed up, but I am alive. He kept repeating it over and over with a shaky, shock filled voice. I asked him to calm down and tell me where he is. Apparently he got in an accident bringing a friend home. The car was parked all day at the Skokie Swift where they hopped on the L to get downtown to the parade. They had gotten back and he was driving his friend home. He said a small animal- a bunny he thinks--crossed the road, Nick swerved and lost control. I asked if he flipped the car. He said it didnt flip, it went over a curb and drove over a really big rock. I asked which side the damage was on. He said he cant see any visible damage to the car except the licence plate is askew. The damage is all underneath where he drove over the rock. I asked if there is liquid leaking. He said there was some at first but it has no odor (windshield wiper fluid?). I asked if there were any witnesses. He said no but a lady who lives right there came out and spoke with him and his friend. They were only a block from his friends house in Northbrook so they left the car there. He kept saying Im sorry, Im so sorry, I dont know what to do. He is really afraid because he tried to start the car and it is making a really loud noise. I am grateful he and his passenger (and the bunny) are alive. Grateful the car did not flip or blow up. Called my sister in law and made arrangements to get the car towed in tomorrow to be looked at. A friend he called to the scene gave him a ride home. When he walked in he gave me a big hug and kept up the Im so sorry mantra. He is very worried that its the engine or the axel. I shared that when these big things happen we just need to pray. I asked him if he ever wonder why sometimes I let little things get to me but when its something big I seem calm? I shared, its because I have no choice but to give it to God. There is absolutely nothing I can do right now that will make any difference in the outcome. We could cry, scream ,stress out, worry, but none of it will do any good. Its unfortunate. And Lord knows we have absolutely No-zero-zitch-zippo money to even pay for a tow. I went on stating that now we need to do what is in front of us to do (for me-try to write, for him clean the kitchen or mow the lawn as he previously agreed to) and leave the results up to God. He said but what about the car? I shared that if its Gods will and the engine is damaged the insurance company may total the car. It could cost more to fix than its worth. If that is the case it may even be a blessing in disguise because my beloved 2002 Cadillac Escalade only gets 8-13 mph. I love my car, as many friends and family know. It was so safe my son had an accident and did not physically get hurt at all. Love how the my car handles great in bad weather and winter conditions. Grateful for all the little luxuries, like the seat warmer and power steering. But I cant afford to keep repairing it now that it is well over 100k in mileage. And with gas at $4 a gallon its killing us to even drive across town. It seems pretty comical when I drive my pretty white Cady over to the food bank to get groceries. So now we wait to find out: What is wrong with the car? Is it drivable? Can we fix it? How do we pay for it? What happens to Nicks insurance as a result? If its totaled how do I get another car without any income? Praying, letting go. We all ate a great meal (if I do say so myself). Now trying to unwind, make progress on the book and get ready for my interview. Time to buster move! Give it all I got, and work to land the right job- be it big and long term- or small and a step in the right direction. All our cards are on the table for my little family. Ready for the next chapter to begin. Grateful we are all still in one piece, reasonable sane, and happy. Grateful for every day, every breathe, every feeling of love, joy, and serenity. Grateful for this gift of writing so I can process, take it to heart, spit it out in a post, and share my sincere gratitude and ability to keep an open heart. Feeling happy, joyous and free. And that is a miracle. Thanks be to God for this amazing miracle of peace in my heart and mind. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! My kids are home safe, We have a roof over our head. And a bright future with infinite possibilities ahead. XXOO, KK
Posted on: Mon, 30 Jun 2014 01:31:37 +0000