I am living proof that happiness and strength and a good marriage and all that crap people dont work hard enough for are decisions that you make, not just things that do or dont happen to you like youre some sort of victim. Brenden starts school tomorrow - a life changer that wont end until hes grown. Its a big deal. We just had a baby - a huuge life changing event that will affect everything about my life until the day I die. Shes cluster feeding right now, meaning she spends 10 minutes at the breast, spits it out, and is ready for the next 5 feedings in 20 minute intervals until shes satisfied enough to sleep for two or three hours until the next frenzy. In addition to all this, my grandmother is in the process of dying, and has been in the hospital since the start of July, so right at a month. Weve seen her get better, then worse, then better, then worse, and so on, until we reached this point with her isolated in ICU on the verge of death. Other people might complain that this is the absolute worst time for something like this to be happening, but I dont decent timing exists for this. Life just became so much harder for my family and I, and even though Im crying and shocked and hurting, Im happy. I dont feel like a victim. Life is unfolding the way it is for me because of choices I made that lead us to now. I guess what Im getting at is that I and David too, are some badass decision makers, and we sleep in that bed every night. So grow a real backbone if you want to enjoy yourself, and know that bad things and good will happen at any time, and thats okay.
Posted on: Mon, 04 Aug 2014 20:35:33 +0000
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