I. am. not. crazy. Why does everyone think I am crazy? Why is everyone doing this to me? Questions that will remain unanswered. Answers that will bear such lack of sympathy for a tortured individual, that they truly do go insane. I thought that I could trust them, yet why does it seem like they lie to me and force their idea and perspective of reality on me, and then say Im lying? Honey, I wish I was lying, but this is real and it is like hell surrounded my very mer-ka-ba, and Im spinning unconsciousness blind madness through my social interaction and Im not even in control. I am not crazy, I am not insane. Im a functioning, sentient, properly responsive being. I am just in a tight spot that I need to wait to open up so I may climb to the next stop, with people whos names I dont remember. I can feel myself leaving myself, and I still dont remember if he was real. My thoughts have been torturing me, and I really dont like thinking anymore. I hate that time stops counting with me and starts counting against me, segments of time spent being immobile and living unhappily. I cant even feel connection with myself, or my physical reality Im in. I wish I could redo my steps, without unintentionally destroying creation, and creating destruction.
Posted on: Thu, 25 Sep 2014 02:15:46 +0000
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