I am not the most intimate person. It may be really surprising to some of you to know that I do not share readily (or maybe youre not at all shocked). My DBC accountability sisters love to remind me of how bad I am at this.. :) God is clearly growing me through our current circumstances. Even with these posts, I know that I am still maintaining a modicum of control (haha) by posting what I want to share and keeping other things hidden deeply. So I am going to stretch a little more today by telling you about something that I really want to keep private. Last week, we applied for disability for Seth Nicholson. This was a huge blow to my pride. It felt like either: 1) asking for a handout or 2) saying that we cannot adequately care for Seths needs. Neither choice was palatable. On the other hand it also felt like accepting the current situation as permanent. I dont care for any of these ideas. So why did we move forward with the application? Someone finally said the magic words to me... you dont know what is ahead and it is easier to apply now than later and you dont want your pride to stand in the way of Seths needs. In other words, get over yourself and access appropriate help so that we dont make choices about Seths care based on our ability to finance, etc. I know that the Social Security system was developed for situations like the one in which we currently find ourselves. However, there has been so much abuse of the system that our impression of the system (or at least mine) is perverted. I am going to be thankful for the years that I have contributed to Soc Security and thankful for the opportunity to utilize it in the manner for which it was designed. You really didnt need all that info, but I needed to share it so that I could put a damper on my pride.... so that I could be humbled and transparent... and so that I could move forward past that stupid application. Pride is an ugly thing and will certainly rear its ugly head again.. so I cant promise that this will not continue to bug me- a lot- and especially now that you all know. But I will pinky swear to keep battling my flesh and to keep on looking at Seth each day as he is humbled- he has to ask for help for the simplest things- getting clean, getting dressed, getting to where he is going. If he can so graciously be humbled, I can too... so can you. For the meek shall inherit the earth- Lord, continue to humble me so that I can more beautifully reflect your heart and so that I can display your power. 2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christs power may rest on me.
Posted on: Tue, 15 Apr 2014 20:09:15 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015