I ate dinner solo at my favorite fish restaurant tonight, grilled mahi-mahi over rice and black beans and sautéed vegetables on the side, a mango chutney sauce to die for. I was really enjoying myself. A 1%er couple sit across from me, the girl facing me reminding me of a female Skolnick from Revenge of the Nerds. But she was decked out haute couture, Givenchy and Armani brands which stuck out, spoke with a heavy New York accent. They were pleasantly low key enough during the meal, her nasal accent grated just a little bit, I kept taking quick glances at them until the girl noticed and made a face like someone farted, said something, and then the guy kept turning around and looking at me quizzically. I quit looking in their direction then until I left. The girl’s style of ordering is what I want to detail. When the waitress came over, the girl began with a “Happy New Year!” which immediately grabbed my attention since this is the 8th already, two full days after Epiphany if you want to get technical, and the odd greeting is what prompted me to listen to begin with to their order. She begins with explaining that they will share all the food but need separate checks, “I hope I’m not being too difficult.” The waitress shrugged and said “that’s fine.” Then she explains she wants her fish sliced a certain way, down the middle, on top of the rice, nothing on top of the fish, no sauce or chutney. She can’t have any spines in the fish itself. She hates spines. And the vegetables on the side can’t touch the fish. Again that apologetic petulance, “I hope I am not being too difficult.” The waitress was like, “Oh you’re fine, that’s no problem.” Ok. I was catching on but the waitress was a little oblivious. Her “I hope I’m not being too difficult” was clearly an actual “I hope you understand how important I am by how particularly I want my food served. So this is why I am being so difficult.” And the waitress, by being effusively accommodating, was actually frustrating her obnoxious ordering and poking a hole in her ego. “I would also like fish tacos, fish and lettuce and mild salsa only, flour not corn tortillas, make sure the salsa is mild or I will return the tacos, also I don’t want any onions in the salsa. Rice and beans on the side, again make sure the rice and beans don’t touch the tacos.” Pause. “I hope I am not being too difficult” and then a look of hopeful expectation that she is being too difficult. The waitress, writing everything down: “Oh don’t worry, I will bring it exactly like you like it.” Frustration. Frowns. Deflation. “To drink I want a mango tea, not too sweet, just a touch bitter, and not too cold without ice but I don’t want the tea at room temperature.” The waitress, “huh?” The girl, “I hope I am not being too difficult.” The waitress, “I don’t know if I can make that happen. I can bring you mango tea or I can bring you unsweetened tea and you can fix it like you like it.” The girl was now very, extremely gracious, with a wide smile, to the point of being sickly sweet, “Oh just bring the mango tea how you usually make it, we’ll make do if we have to, thank you very much.” Yeah, I may be paraphrasing a bit, but this happened tonight.
Posted on: Fri, 09 Jan 2015 05:23:55 +0000
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