I carefully remember bad things from my childhood, sandwiched in between all the good. A habit I have acquired through years of practice. But as a child ... every day I was living with a secret. I became very good at pretending because ... I didnt want my family hurt. Someone years later asked me how I endured the ongoing abuse of body and mind .. I told them I pretended I wasnt there. Separating myself from reality, as I tried to live a normal life or one I thought was normal. Creating an inner life that was more confusing than I can describe. I even tried to tell myself maybe it was like this in every home, if I didnt tell, maybe others had the same experience and didnt tell either, and that was the way everyone lived. I ran away when I was 14 with a 19 yr old. When I came home I was pregnant. A baby having a baby. For the next 15 yrs I went from being a mom of 1 to a mom of 7 all ranging in age from 3 -15. I had 2 marriages and divorces by the time I was 23 and 6 kids. My 7th is Hunkas first ... he married me taking on all my kids as his own and my inner turmoil to boot. He had NO idea what he was getting into. He was warned but truly believed he could overcome the odds. He was a believer who had never been married and now had a wife 6 kids and one more to to watch grow that was his own. I near drove him crazy. Until by the mercy of God I literally was given a new life. These last 41 years have been years of God unscrambling ... You see when I was 30 I embraced the invitation of my hubbies Savior, and took Him as my own. I put my life in His hands (though I took it back a few times) HE never let go. If you want to read more .. I have written it in my blog. ashipcalledsojourner.blogspot/2012/09/from-trash-heap-to-treasure.html Last year I set down a goal of writing my story ... His-story really I am asking for prayers so I can finish once and for all. It is like having a dress pattern cut out and not sewn together. My kids have asked for it and I would like to give it to them for Christmas before I graduate to heaven haha. Love you all dear hearts. More later.
Posted on: Sat, 17 Jan 2015 03:35:40 +0000