I choose to describe life on the spectrum in ways that can be described as positive and/or constructive. Ill write about the tough times, but with an eye towards solutions and finding ways forward. I dont dwell on the negative. Why is that? Why do I focus on the positive, the constructive? One reason I DONT do it: I dont do this because I live in a magic world of happy unicorns and floating puppies. Im not unaware of how challenging the most difficult days can be, both for myself and others. The reason I dont dwell on the negative is because the negative almost killed me. It reached an extreme where continuing to operate under its influence would mean cutting short the pain it was bringing to my life. So, when I hear people criticizing myself or someone else for being too positive...for being “blind to the challenges”? I hear someone who still has the energy to be negative. I hear a small, manageable anger. Not all of us are lucky enough to have that. If you can co-exist with negativity...that is genuinely awesome. Im glad you havent had to make the choice to either give up or change. As for myself...the room for the negative, the energy required to sustain it...I ran out. There was just nothing left inside of me to carry on alongside it. I get that some people have tough days and need to vent. That happens, its human nature. Instead of speaking against that, I just want to speak in support of the other side. I want to offer a different take on what it means to be positive, since the usual back and forth over how to describe life on the spectrum often misses some of the underlying truths. And the truth is that, for some of us? Being positive isnt about denying reality or ignoring challenges. Its about survival. At this point in my life, Im not able to view negativity as “brave” or “honest”. I just see it as a luxury not everyone can afford.
Posted on: Thu, 25 Sep 2014 13:37:44 +0000
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