I constantly hear women in recovery complain about the weight they have gained since getting off dope. I was one of those till today. I was looking at the few (thank God) photos I allowed to be taken during my addiction and looking at how sick I looked. 57 and 110 pounds. Size 0 ribs and hips protruding. You could see my implant bags just sitting on chest. Sunk in cheeks and eyes. Ashy grey skin. Arms thinner than my 12 year old daughter, who was tiny herself. And I thought I looked good! And for the past almost 6 years, told myself I wanted to be that size again! Today I looked at photos and then in the mirror and for the first time was truly happy with my curves. So from today forward when my little girl wraps her arms around me (well, around what she can of me) and says “Mommy, you are so pretty” I will thank her and believe her. When others tell me how good I look I will accept the compliment and take it to heart. Im not a victim of my past even though my addiction wants to keep me there. I am a beautiful woman who is healthy and chooses to love who I am. I am not defined by my pants size! I am not my weight! I am a mother and daughter. A friend and sponsor. I am my heart and soul not a size or number! And I will make healthy food choices and exercise because I want to live a long, healthy life for my children not because I want to fit in with a world that is full of judgement and a twisted outlook of what joy really is.
Posted on: Fri, 18 Jul 2014 18:13:26 +0000
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