I couldnt have been more than 6 years old the year I was going as a ballerina. My mother was very handy with the sewing machine and had crafted a beautiful satin ballerina costume with attached tutu. I was a TOTAL VISION in it. Because it was white I had not been allowed to wear it except to try it on, because......dirt. So, I anxiously awaited the Ween of Hallow so as to display my beautiness to all the land. Finally, the day arrived for all the world to see me in my magnificence, and a knock came at the door. I opened it to see TRICK.OR.TREATERS and a blast of frigid air. As I recall, I totally flipped my lid. The long awaited night had arrived and no one had TOLD me it was even here. And now all the candy would be gone and I would have none of it because I wasnt even dressed. I care not if those witches and whatever who were standing at the door got any treats because I was in need of my ballerinaness - post haste! Then came all.the.rules. If I was going out, I was going to have to wear a hat, coat, and gloves and could go to no more than 10 houses or some such nonsense, I didnt care about rules - DO WHAT YOU MUST, but do not keep me from the throngs of fans awaiting my magnificence. So, after layer upon layer of long johns and sweaters and insulated things, my mother finally pulled out the costume of all costumes and put it on top of all the layers. Im SURE I was a total vision of loveliness - I was unable to move my arms more than a couple inches and i waddled when I walked. And then it hit me. I HAD TO PEE! Knowing that time was of the essence, I put the brakes on anything related to my nether-region and did all the moves to get out the door with my bag for goodies AND my ballerina outfit (unzipped because - LAYERSofWARMTHS)!!!!! and off we went in search of treasures unknown and compliments of how adorable I was and COME IN HERE AND LET GRANDMA LOOK AT YOU. Looking back, Im sure they were laughing at how ridiculous I looked, but that night I was the most beautiful ballerina in the world. I dont remember the cold - but I remember having to carefully balance each porch step to get to the doors. The haul was unusually good because the crowds were unusually small that night, but when I got home with all my goodies and got released from the confines of my costume, and was being ohsoproud that I had not peed on all.the.things, I came back into the living room to see ALL my candy and apples and popcorn balls strewn about in piles. You see, there might be needles in the apples and poison injected in the gooshy candy bars and more with ALLTHEFREAKINRULES, so I sat and watched as my parents inspected each item and ruled out all but the nastiest peanut butter wrapped in black and a couple of suckers. But for that night - I was a ballerina, with a sucker and LIFE WAS GOOD.
Posted on: Fri, 31 Oct 2014 15:39:07 +0000
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