I couldnt sleep.... I am just worried I guess, I have given my ex everything publically to destroy me to where I will never get custody of my girls back if he forces that, Ive admitted to everything. Why? because if there is something wrong with me I want to get help. I want my girls to have a healthy mom. I miss them so much. Ive said it before I will say it again, these are what I did wrong: I yelled and screamed at Natalie got forceful with her and spanking was becoming a threat that was abused.. and I fell in love with a married man and even though I didnt act on it, I believe he was hacking my phones and thats what I need to get help for. Along with this, me spilling my heart on facebook. my writing urges are somewhat compulsive. I guess because I have no one else to talk to. And I get scared easily, I always have. These are the things I am going to show the psychiatrist. I want to get help and I want to have my daughters again. This has been the place I come to vent and that was probably not the smartest thing in the world to do, and on a different note maybe it was the smartest. Because if there is something wrong with me that I shouldnt have my children, then let it be revealed. I dont think I have done anything that makes me undeserving. Every human being on planet earth does things wrong.. my girls dad for example drinks every single night a bottle of wine and he refuses to communicate unless he is getting what he wants. I could say other things, but my point is not to bash, but to show that everyone has flaws. I have flaws too. I look like a really bad person when I admit to mine, but wouldnt anybody if they admitted to theirs? No parent is perfect. Love is perfect, we should all strive to be love! But only God is! Now scripture says God is the author and finisher of our faith, and he who started a good work in us will continue to completion to those he called and they follow. I love my girls very much, It is definitely Gods will for a mom who loves her children to have her children. I am obsessing guys. I need to turn my computer off and sleep. I only have two hours now before church. Does anybody else ever fall in love with a married man or woman or scream and spank their children? Does anybody else ever experience their phone or computer getting hacked? Does anybody else experience parental alienation? Does anybody else get obsessive? Am I the only one who goes through any of this? I am going to ask people at church tomorrow. oh shoot today. Does this make me unqualified to be in my girls lives?
Posted on: Sun, 25 Jan 2015 13:44:12 +0000
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