I deal with a bit of rumination on a regular basis- the depressive part says oh look at this person, who do they think they are. Theyre not doing it my way (says the ego). Most certainly this is almost never the truth,but the voice speaks nonetheless. In contrast, when the voice is manic, it cannot do wrong, either. It drives me to pursue random tangents to their extremes, often with unrealistic and exaggerated outcomes. A large portion of the problem is caused not in the pursuit of the ideas, but in where and how i pursue the egoic drive for any given idea. The combination, which together constitutes a bipolar cycle, leads to this result: often promising idealistically rather than pragmatically- with less than stellar results, to be sure. I hear it is scary for my friends, too.. More often these days i can temper the voice, or simply detach from the thought, and with practice it dissolves into truth: bipolar is a lifelong disorder and it requires continuous, active management in order to stay on top of it. I feel like the last episode was helpful- i had to reject the idea that cognitive tools alone are enough to protect my day to day mood. I still got pretty manicy then panicky, and it was very difficult to focus. So, meds, a licensed therapist, -and- positive intention for me.. hugs to you!
Posted on: Sat, 15 Mar 2014 07:25:23 +0000
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