I do not expect a funeral to be held for me after I depart this vale of tears, but just in case, I am leaving my final request as to how I wish it to be conducted. I anticipate that only a few persons will attend: all except my wife will be my creditors, who will have come to mourn my having died penniless while still owing them substantial sums. Nevertheless, I hope that one of these loan sharks will have the decency, while my mortal remains are being returned to the dust whence they came, to whip out a small boom box and play the slow movement from Rachmaninoff’s piano concerto #2. At that point, my wife will also weep disconsolately because I have caused such “cheesy” music to accompany my interment. (In an emergency, should the Rachmanioff movement be unavailable at the time, I will be glad to have the boom box bring forth the slow movement from Joaquin Rodrigo’s Concierto de Aranjuez. Perhaps my wife’s weeping will be allayed thereby, if only a little.) And do remember, amigos mios, that it is bad form to speak ill of the dead, except of course on Facebook, where every person living, dead, or yet to be born is fair game.
Posted on: Mon, 06 Oct 2014 23:39:02 +0000
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