I dont get in here and bare my soul often, but as the anniversary - TopicsExpress



          

I dont get in here and bare my soul often, but as the anniversary of the events that changed my life loom in the distance, here I go. 2011 changed my life, for better, for worse, and everything in between. On Aug. 2, my dad passed, at the age of 44, leaving me a little more than just a bit broken. Anyone who knew him knows the hole that he leaves behind, my world definitely darker without him. After lots of talk, I move back down from Oklahoma, to my Mommas, in Bastrop, Tx. This is a month and a day after my dads passing. The next day the fire starts. I can remember it so vividly. The smoke cloud growing so big, so fast. My mom gets her fire gear together, and tells me that the truck waiting at her station needs at least one more person in it too take off. That person being her. I tell her to go, Ill watch the boys, not quite realizing exactly how serious this was going to get. 15 minutes later the fire trucks come back down the road, Mom jumps out and tells me to drop everything, grab the boys and some cash, we needed to evacuate. We headed to the store my stepdad worked at. People from all over that area started collecting there. And, the cloud grew, blocking the sunlight, being the grey-black glowed a deep red, like a dying ember. Everyone just watched, what could we do? After a few hours it became clear that we werent going home. I called my boyfriend, and told him I didnt know where else to go, could I bring my two little brothers and one of the dogs to his apartment, Bastrop was on fire, and there didnt seem like would ever go out. All the while, my mom was on the front line, in the middle of what seemed like hell embodied and given life. The longer it went on the more panic began to sink in. My mind constantly screaming the same thought, please let mom be okay, I just lost my dad, I cant lose my mom, oh God please. She called when she could. Two days go by and she tells me the house is gone, most of the animals didnt make it, they didnt stand a chance, dont tell the boys yet, we will figure this out. I paced, a lot. I knew that no matter what, we couldnt panic the boys, Moms doing fine, she just called, Im sure its going to be okay, no matter what as long as we have each other, we will be fine. They find out. They talk to each other, Raistlin about the things they have, and Ash reminding him it got roasted. Still, as time passed, the news coverage grew, and so did my panic, fear, and uncertainty. The highway reopens, I come see my mom. I try not to be a complete mess. The view is shocking, it looks like the aftermath of a bomb, a war of nature. Its going to take a lot to pull us all back together. Everything, and I mean everything is gone, absolutely gone, nothing but ash, all of it, thousands of acres, so many, many homes, but because of the fire fighters, emergency personnel, and police officers, only two lives were lost. The most amazing thing happened, though. Even though so many people lost it all, they kept coming together too give what they could, water, food, clothes, stuffed animals. They took in lost, injured animals, holding on to them until the owners could be found, or until the owners had a place to take them home to. Everyone in the area, either lost their home or closely knew someone who did. They had people starting with them, sometimes for months. The local businesses all pitched in to do what they could, and through all the sadness, shock, anger, and hurt, there was a bond forming, a single thought, You can burn us up, but you cant burn us out! This was long I know, but as the the year anniversary comes upon me, I can still see it all so clearly, I still feel every emotion as if it were happening right in front of me again. And, I can still hear my parents giving me the two most important pieces of advice Ill ever hear, from my Mom, As long as we are together, we can make it through this and anything, and my Dad, There isnt any time in life to stay mad, or sad, or upset. You never know what will happen, or when. So, appreciate each day for what it is, good or bad, because even the bad days make the good days sweeter. We pull through, we persevere, we come together and are stronger together, than we ever were apart. Bonds are made through times of severe hardship, both with those we already know, and with strangers going through the same tragedy, those bonds, even if silent last forever. It is hard for me to move on from this, I guess Im just not ready yet. I will one day, but I will never forget.
Posted on: Mon, 01 Sep 2014 03:49:45 +0000

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