I dont know what I have done or have been doing wrongly recently, but often I feel like almost everybody hates me. I have a few friends who definitely dont, because they have an innocent mindset and know who I actually am. But when theyre not around, Im immediately alone. All of a sudden I feel like everyones judgmental eyes are boring down into my soul, watching my every move and listening to my every word - waiting for me to do something worth gossiping about. I admit: I used to act faster than I think, and I definitely have offended people. But that was years ago, I have smartened up and realised my mistakes, I no longer offend people just because I think it is funny or that it makes me look cool. Sometimes I try to convince myself that its okay if I dont have friends, I can just shut myself out and watch people. But the more I look at how much fun everyone is having, I really want to join in. But whenever I try, people throw my judgmental stares and suddenly go silent, and wait for me to go away. Most of the time, being lonely sometimes just feels empty but sometimes it hurts. Especially when I know people are telling tales behind my back, causing more and more people to avoid and judge me. - RG girl
Posted on: Mon, 21 Oct 2013 06:23:55 +0000
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