I dont really like to use Facebook to talk about personal problems, but I have mentioned, in a couple of posts, the issues my son is encountering at his new school. I greatly thank anyone who has offered me advice in this situation, and I would like to share a bit more information about him in the hope that someone in this huge global network can help me understand my child better and help me know how to proceed. If you are reading this post - thank you for taking the time to consider my problem. My son is 9 years old, gifted and utterly unmotivated. Im sure that, in todays day and age when young children are easily turned off learning by the promise of instant gratification in the various forms of electronic media, this is not an uncommon problem. But with my son it seems to me that there is some sort of underlying problem dating back to the time that he turned 1. He was a very early developer, reaching all milestones ahead of time. By the time of his 1st birthday, he had a vocabulary of about 150 words, including adjectives which he used appropriately. I started teaching him letters of the alphabet before the age of 1 and he would happily identify 7 letters of the alphabet with both names and sounds by the time he turned 1. But then, suddenly, things changed. Whilst his vocabulary continued to flourish, he simply refused to look at a letter or a number until he was well and truly at the age of 4. Even then, only under the greatest of duress. From the age of 2 onwards, he would tell me that I was making him feel sick by asking him to name letters, etc. The same applied to reading. Even as a toddler, he refused to allow me to read to him, and would regularly leave the room whenever I tried (although he would occasionally recount the story to me hours later, if it had interested him. I would say that, from the age of 1, he established a strong pattern of defiance when it came to anything that he perceived as being even remotely academic. At 4, I sent him for testing to try to get him into a school for gifted boys for the following year (I taught piano part-time at that school, and thought it would be lovely for him to go there). He told the staff there that he doesnt like the type of puzzles they were asking him to do, that his mum worked there and would be very angry if they tried to force him to do things, and that they would lose their jobs. When I learned of this, I decided that I would have to battle it out and teach him things, as he would obviously not respond particularly well to outsiders trying to educate him. So I taught him to read and I taught him maths (all in blocks of a couple of minutes, but once he grasps a concept, he is able to generalise from it and apply it to unfamiliar situations with ease). On starting kindergarten, he was able to read a couple of years ahead of his age, as well as to do relatively complex maths tasks. For example, at 5 he wanted to know how many hours were in 3 days. I asked him to work it out not really expecting him to be able to (prior to that I had taught him to count in 2s, 10s and 5s). He muttered to himself for a few minutes, and then told me 72. I asked him how he had worked it out. He told me that he had counted in 20s and then in 4s and added them together. So yes, hes bright. But the defiance continues. His teachers struggle with his refusal to do work all the time (unless hes interested). At home, we battle for about 5 hours, with him becoming violent and rolling around on the floor, breaking things, etc, just in order to do about 10 minutes of work. He thinks reading is a complete waste of time, and has not yet completed reading a book in his life. At 5, he was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD. At 6, I reluctantly agreed to medicate him, and he took dexamphetamine for two years. Personally, I see no difference in his behaviour, and recently stopped the medication. His diagnosis was changed a few weeks ago to severe anxiety and possible attachment disorder. He is currently hopelessly addicted to mine craft, and is not really interested in anything else at all. I would love to get advice from any group members who feel they may have suggestions as to how I should proceed with him, or who are able to give me any insight into the source of his problem with motivation. If youve made it this far, thank you so much for your time!
Posted on: Wed, 17 Sep 2014 03:12:25 +0000
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