I dont take sides in the dog/cat wars (like em both), but wrote this childrens rhyme on behalf of cats for some reason: The Cat and the Catamaran A seafaring kitty embarked on a quest With deckhands of rodents and chickadees. They glanced on a map, which they stuffed in a chest, And bought an old boat that was rickety. The boat clearly failed every mariner’s test But oddly enough it went “lickety.” By that I don’t mean it went “lickety-split”, But sailed very slowly by “lick and by spit”. The boat had no sail, nor a motor, nor boom, And mystified all how it went: The captain did little but sleep, stretch and groom And mice made a home in the vent, As chickadee slept, or she ruffled her plume -- Yet the boat received nary a dent! Still harder to do was deduce this connection: The cat licked a paw and they’d veer that direction. A pack of old seadogs was out by the shore, Convinced that this Cat-a-ma-ran Would sink like a rock to the oceany floor For having a cat in command. No, not since the start of the cat-doggy war Was there ever a stupider plan! “To give a cat license to sail on the sea! “How silly, she’ll panic and swim for a tree.” The captain was pleased to be causing commotion For dogs who had sworn to be foes. She knew they responded to human emotion, Were quick to react to men’s “No!’s, So turning her schooner away from the ocean She aimed it right back at their toes, Who laughed when they saw how the schooner was shaking Until it was clearer the tack she was taking. The doggies were loyal to humans, their species, And awfully stern with the feline But lost all their nerves and what some would call feces When boat came ashore on a beeline. Some kneeled and said prayers, and some quoted from Nietzsche And all were afraid of this sea lion. Whose way with King’s English and grammar allowed her To make them play dead, or to sit and roll over. The captain enjoyed but a brief disem-bark; With doggies all shocked into silence. “This kitty has taken your tongues,” she remarked, And scolded them all for their violence. Then turning – “Now stay!” – she reboarded her Ark: This kitty/mouse/birdy alliance! And danced until dogwatch – a seafaring manx, Who licked her boat this way and that to advance.
Posted on: Mon, 18 Nov 2013 16:31:15 +0000
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