I dont talk about my fears often. It makes me feel weak and needy, and those are things I dont like to feel, especially on top of the feeling of fear. But the fear I feel right now is becoming so overwhelming that I simply can not keep it in me anymore. Many of you know my birth story with Sara. The terrifying, nearly fatal (for me, NOT Sara) end of my pregnancy. For those of you who arent familiar, please read: https://facebook/notes/rebecca-l-rinke/saras-story/812137038801738. Ive done my very level best to remain calm, keep myself in optimal health, pay attention and follow my doctors advice. I am in the care of both my regular midwife, who will deliver if there are no complications, and a perinatologist, who specializes in high risk pregnancies. I am not listed officially as high risk because the re-occurrence rate of HELLP is actually quite low, HOWEVER, I have the potential to be, quite quickly, which is why my midwife and I decided to cultivate a relationship with a maternal-fetal specialist NOW, rather than later. I like to know who is going to be caring for me. But the FEAR is mind-numbingly present. It is eating at me, night and day, and I can only pray and ask that you pray, for a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby boy in 147 days. NOT 9 weeks early!!! PLEASE pray, send good vibes/thoughts.. whatever you believe in. I need it, so desperately... and I thank each of you for reading this to the end. YOU are my support system. Yes, YOU! LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!
Posted on: Sun, 20 Jul 2014 05:05:37 +0000
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