I dont think Ive ever shared this story in this way on Facebook before. Its kind of a full-circle moment. Tomorrow, Sunday, on Oprah Winfreys OWN Network a rebroadcast of the 1999 show I was on with author of The Seat of the Soul Gary Zukav airs at noon CT. Check your local listing to see what time it airs in your area. Heres how it unfolded: Right after Christmas, in the earliest hours of December 29, 1998 my wife Trici turned and asked me to take her pulse. “My heart is racing.” I did. Carefully. It seemed normal to me. And within moments she screamed, “Do something, Tom! I think I’m having a heart attack. Help me, damn it! Call 911.” So I did. And the paramedics came. I insisted on riding in the front seat of the ambulance. To be with Trici. Another Emergency Room. The same questions. The questions we had heard that hot summer day in 1990. When we admitted Erin. Now it was winter. And it was Trici who was lying in the hospital bed. “Is she allergic to anything? Have you been out of the country? Could she have been bitten by a strange insect? Eaten something poison? Tell me her health history? Her family history? We don’t know what it is Mr. Zuba. We’ll order more tests.” And the afternoon of the 31st, when the procedure-that-could-have-killed-her was complete, and no real progress had been made, the doctor told me to “Pray for a miracle. And get everyone you know to pray, too.” We did. Lots of people. And as I watched her blood oxygen levels go down, and her blood pressure weaken, I knew she would not survive. So over and over, in my head and in my heart I said to my wife of 13 ½ years, the mother of my three children, my business partner and my friend, “I love you Trici. You know that. But if your dad is here, and your sister is here, and your Grandmother is here. Go. You can go. You will be so much more powerful if you go. But if you do. If you do go. Come back to me. Find a way to come back to me.” And after 52 hours in the hospital, Patricia Brennan Zuba died. Mysteriously. “I’m sorry, Mr. Zuba,” the doctor said. “We just don’t know what caused this. Perhaps when more tests results come in.” And in my basement office, a few short hours after Trici’s death, on that New Year’s Day morning, I called my Presbyterian minister/therapist Howard. “Trici died. I need you to help me.” I will. When can you come see me? I wanted to make her funeral memorable. Breathtaking. Beautiful. Like she was. So, I patterned the memorial cards after the cards she designed for Erin’s funeral. A favorite picture on one side. A fitting quote on the other. But what quote? Something from The Seat of the Soul. The book by author Gary Zukav that Oprah had suggested we all read. “Next to the Bible, the most important book I’ve ever read,” she said. I bought it. I read it. I finished it right before Christmas. One-third of it familiar. Another third new, thrilling and expansive. The final third a mystery; I hadn’t a clue what Gary was talking about. So I selected the quote about love and fear. “How do you choose to live your life?” Gary asks. “In love? Or fear?” That book gave me the tools I clung to as I weathered that 52-hour storm that began in the early morning hours of December 29, 1998 and ended on New Year’s Day with Trici’s death. The day before Erin’s 10th birthday. And as odd as it to read, and even odder to write, during those 52 hours, I knew intuitively that I needed to pay close attention to what was happening. I knew I was going to tell this story to millions. On The Oprah Winfrey Show. Somehow I knew. Three-and-one-half months later I did. In the days that followed Trici’s death, I knew I wanted to thank Gary. But I wanted to thank Oprah as well. For “introducing” me to Gary. I knew my unsolicited email to Oprah would get lost in the thousands. So I emailed Gary. With the intention of reaching Oprah, too. And on March 14, 1999 the phone rang. “Hello Tom. This is Gary Zukav. Thank you for your beautiful email.” And on April 15, 1999 the phone rang again. “I’m calling from a Chicago television talk show. We’re doing a show on people whose lives have been impacted by Gary Zukav’s book, The Seat of the Soul. Would you consider being a guest?” Yes, yes, and yes. We taped on Wednesday, April 21, 1999, the day after the Columbine shootings. The show aired that Friday. April 23, 1999. Tune in to OWN tomorrow to see the show. I also knew at that time I was being called to write a book. I had no idea my son Rory would die 5 years later. My new book Permission to Mourn: A New Way to Do Grief is now available in paperback and eBook. If you order today, you can begin reading it Wednesday. Amazon updates hourly. If it say the book is out of stock order it anyway. They restock continuously. amazon/Permission-Mourn-New-Way-Grief/dp/1600475655/ref=sr_1_1_twi_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1417894028&sr=1-1&keywords=tom+zuba
Posted on: Sat, 06 Dec 2014 19:29:10 +0000
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