I don’t understand how some people can smile all day long; but, cry themselves to sleep at night. How pictures never change; but, the people in them do. How you can love so innocently; but, it can turn into anger so quickly. How your best friend can become your worst enemy. Or, when your worst enemy turns into your best friend. How forever turns into a few short months that you’d do almost anything to get back. How you can let go of something you once said you couldn’t live without and would do ANYTHING for... DIE for! How even though you know letting go of something is best for you, it hurts just the same. How the people who once wanted to spend every second with you, think a few minutes of their time is too much time to spare. How people make promises, and bear their souls to someone despite knowing how common it is for promises to be broken. How people can erase you from their lives ‘cause it’s just easier then working things out!!! Its hard to watch people hurt each other and be helpless to fix-it. In a world where it seems as though all we hear about and see, is how one person betrayed another, how do we allow ourselves to trust someone to get close at all, let alone trust them to be near the most fragile parts of us? In my own world, I’ve struggled with allowing people to really know me because for most of my life, it felt as though I was burned every time I did. Over time, I learned to seem friendly; but, I kept virtually everyone at a distance, and those who got too close I rapidly pushed away, sometimes completely out of my life. Eventually, I began to open up, but each time found myself wondering why I had been so naive again. THEN, there came a point where, slowly but surely, people began to enter my life who showed me what it meant to be able to trust—trust them to show up, trust them to listen, trust them with commitments and the biggest one of all, trust them with my heart. These people came in the form of friends who are now my family and have had my back in countless ways over the years. I had to make the decision to let go of old survival mechanisms in order to grow and make room for something better. Sometimes what used to protect us becomes what harms us and stifles the capacity for our lives to be open and full of joy, love, and peace. When it comes to trusting each other, we have to accept that our past is not our present. We have to be able to recognize that what hurt us before is not necessarily what is currently standing before us—even sometimes when the situation looks frighteningly similar, and sometimes even when it’s the same person. Sorry... Just one of THOSE days TODAY!!!
Posted on: Tue, 19 Aug 2014 02:01:39 +0000
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