I feel its applicable to many Asian parents too.... An enlightening read for parents. -------------------- Translation -------------------- To Taiwanese parents: Child, I dont owe you anything An American child asked his dad, Are we rich? His dad answered, Im rich, you are not. So American kids know how to work hard from young; when they inherit their family business which become established businesses after a few generations. A Taiwanese kid asked his dad, Are we rich? His dad answered, My family is very rich. After I die, all these are yours. So rich Taiwanese kids are pampered since young. They start to splurge extravagantly even though their father has not died yet, and do nothing all day. Even if they inherit family business, they squander it away, hence the old saying Wealth doesnt last three generations See this story below to better understand the difference in how Western and Asian parents treat their childrens education. Last summer, a Taiwanese friend sent his 13 year old son to his friend Marys home in Perth, Australia, wanting his son to broaden his horizon, and asked Mary to take care of his son. Thus, Mary started her care of a teenager. After picking up the teenager home from airport, Mary said this to him, Im your dads friend. In your one-month vacation in Australia, your dad asked me to take care of you, but what I want to tell you is, I am not responsible for taking care of your life because I dont owe your dad and he doesnt owe me, so we are equal. Youre 13 years old and have basic life abilities, so from tomorrow, you wake up yourself, Im not responsible to wake you. After waking up, you make your own breakfast because I have to go to work and cannot make breakfast for you. After eating, you wash your own plates because Im not responsible for washing plates for you, that is not my responsibility. The laundry room is over there, you wash your own clothes. Also, this is a city map and public bus schedule, you decide where you want to go. If I have time, I can bring you there, but if not, you get the route and bus clear and you can go yourself. In short, you try your best to settle your own life. Because I have my own things to do. Hope your arrival does not cause me trouble. The 13-year old kid listened to this person who refused to let him address her as Aunt and insisted he call her Mary; and this must have caused a stirring in his heart. Because at home in Taipei, his parents were fully responsible for everything in his life. Lastly, when Mary asked whether he understood, he said, Understood. Yes, this aunt was correct, she didnt owe Dad and him anything, hes already 13 years old and a big child, he can do a lot of things already, including settling his own breakfast and going out himself to places that he liked. After one month, he returned home to Taipei. His family was surprised to find that this child had changed. He knew how to do everything, and managed everything in his own life: folding blanket after getting up, washing plates after eating, cleaning the house, he knew how to use the washing machine, he would go to bed on time, and had become courteous. His parents took their hats off to Mary and asked her, What magic did you work to make my son grow up and mature in just one month? Taiwanese parents dote too much on their children. So long as they have something, they will give it all to their kids. Even if they dont have it, they will always want to provide the best in this world to their kids, and even wish that they can prepare everything for their kids until their next lifetime, but neglect the childs own ability and choice, and dont let them become real people. Doting (pampering) is not true love! Hope that young Taiwanese parents learn to live for themselves, their family and their society, and not like their elder generation living only for their children. Children have their own future; their future is theirs to seek out and create. Maybe the future that they find themselves will be better than the one parents have provided. In a few years time, Taiwanese kids will only be worthy to work for American kids, do you believe it? Those with children should read this, if not they will regret. - Reflections on Taiwanese education - An American girl told me, This is the best breakfast Ive eaten, thanks so much! This child knew how to compliment others, I was taken aback. Id cooked for my kids for more than 10 years, and didnt even hear any compliment. It felt wonderful to be complimented, and shrank the distance between us. For dinner, I cooked my best dishes - tomato with egg, vinegar ribs and soup. We chatted happily as we ate. After dinner, my 2 kids were still chatting. I started to clear the dishes. The American girl stood up hastily and asked, Can I help you? For the 2nd time, I was taken aback. Looking at this sincere child, I said, No need, you go ahead and chat with them. My kids were used to seeing me being busy for years; they practically ignored all my hard work. And the American girl could be considerate towards others; her instant response should be the result of habit. After the 2nd day, we became more familiar with one another, so we could ask whatever came to mind. I saw that the girls passport was tattered, and asked in curiosity, Which countries have you been to? Her reply surprised me for the 3rd time. This is my 3rd passport. Ive been to more than 30 countries. Looking at my surprised expression, she explained, Usually during vacation, our school will organise trips for students. This is my first time to Taiwan, mainly going to Taipei, Tai-nan, Kao-hsiung and Hua-lien. These 4 cities were picked by parents and teachers as they represent Taiwans past and present. In respect for the organisers, I asked, With so much travelling, what about your studies? Our kids often had to shuttle between various training classes during vacation time. The American girl looked at my kids envious faces and said, Our usual study tasks are heavy. Wed spend about 5 hours every day at home on homework. At this 5 hours, my girl was stunned. When chatting about everyday life, I came to understand the basic situation of the American girls family background. Her father was working in his own business, her mother was a homemaker and did not work, but the American girl emphasized that her mother had a tough job to be responsible for their daily life, maintaining the lawn, swimming pool etc. Her brother was responsible for washing dishes and helping Mum with cleanliness; she herself was responsible for their 2 dogs and 3 cats. Each member of her family had their own responsibilities, and were neatly organized. In my family, we (father and mother) had to work, the mother also had to be responsible for the daily life of the whole family, the 2 kids only had to study and could ignore everything else. In comparing family responsibilities, our difference was huge. The 4th time I was shocked was when I was listening to the kids chatting. My kid asked the American girl what was the most frightening thing she had encountered. The American girl said, during one vacation, parents from a few families combined to send several of their teenaged children to a primitive forest, without any water and food, no blankets and tent, and arranged to pick up their kids after one week. That week was the most frightening to the girl, and also the most thrilling. She told my kids that, in order to avoid hunger, they had eaten raw mice. The parents objective behind this kind of activity was to train their childrens survival skill. The 5th time I was shocked was during the last dinner. The American girl was leaving Taipei soon. To show our hospitality and to let the girl have a taste of the most delicious Chinese dishes, we brought her to Taipeis most glitzy area and ordered this Chicken-broiled fins which had won a national award. When the American girl understood that this was sharks fins, she refused this dish with determination. I cannot accept this dish. Animals need to be protected. There was no room for persuasion; it was even close to rejection of our hospitality. I was ashamed, and yet my respect and admiration for her grew. After dinner, the kids went to an arcade to have fun. Besides my kids and the American girl, we invited two of my daughters good friends. I heard this incident from my kids who said, Mum, so scary! Americans are too awesome! Once in the arcade, my 2 good friends went off to try their hand at anything that looked fun. It was obvious that the usual stress of their studies vanished in this moment. My kid continued, Whereas the American girl pulled me along and observed which games had more chance of winning. After going one round, she set her target and won many game tokens, and shared them with us, then went to find a game she was interested in. I was not only taken aback, but completely stunned. At a young age, she knew how to maximise her gains and think deeply; it was indeed scary. My kid said something which gave me food for thought until today. Mum, if we carry on like this, in future its going to turn out real that we can only work for them. In just a short week, I had 6 big shocks. ~~ Our kids will face such competitors in future! ~~ And what kind of kids are we nurturing? Too much pampering, frequent interference and excessive protection have taught our kids heartlessness and incapability. The current photocopier method of education is exhausting our childrens energy and restricted the childrens pursuits. ~~ As everyone knows, being natural is a childs innate tendency, freedom is their true nature. To kill off their nature is to kill off the vitality and motivation of growing up. Can such an education nurture creative people? ~~ A different education can determine a different result. Im sure everyone is clear who the masters of the future are, and we are just producing more workers for other people. No matter how excellent, at most still a high-class worker! ~~ For our children, people, country, please share this.
Posted on: Tue, 26 Nov 2013 06:40:57 +0000
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