I feel like a failure. I have struggled. I have fought, defended, wiped butts, cleaned throw up, spent countless hours in ERs, the list goes on and on and on and ON! Yet I still have lost. I tell people it only takes one bad thing to wipe away the hundreds of good deeds. Why is that? why do we only dwell on that one bad thing instead of appreciative of the 100s of other things? I am at a loss. I am at a loss as a mother. You would think out of giving birth to 6 children, Id have better odds. Maybe it is just Karma? Or I am a much more terrible person than I think of myself to be. Two I dont even know yet, but I sincerely hope to someday. Two I have lost, at least for now in these wretched teenage years. The younger 2 I still have. For now, but is that going to change too? I hope not. This is torturous. This pain and frustration. What is a good parent to you? Finding a balance is near impossible.
Posted on: Thu, 22 Jan 2015 02:08:45 +0000
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