I finally cried last night. Not a big cry, but a cry nonetheless. It was our first night at home (alone) since Bella left. We have been so busy that I havent had much one on one time with Hudson. I ordered some books for him and last night we finally read our first one, When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death. Explaining to a 5 year old that his sister is gone forever is hard enough, but for him to worry about other people he loves dying is more than I can handle. Death is unpredictable and its unfair to make promises you cant keep. He told me he misses Bella so much and wants to go to heaven too. One day, baby boy, when youre an old old man. ...I hope, but no one ever really knows for sure. We danced last night. Our first dance party without Bella. It just wasnt the same. But life doesnt stop, and she would want us to dance. Im sure she was dancing with us, but probably doing a whole bunch of new moves only an angel could pull off. No matter how much I want to curl up in a ball and disappear, I have a little boy who needs me. And I will make sure to keep making memories, no matter how hard I need to force myself. We never know how long we have together, but its not about how much time you have that matters. Its about what you do with the time you have! #StayStrong #ProjectLife
Posted on: Wed, 16 Jul 2014 12:27:03 +0000
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