I finally had the courage to post this today. I guess because I am in so much pain right now I need to share, to help others. I started this journal the morning after my discovery. Writing things down this way has always helped me to cope. I let myself be upset when I found the lump in my breast. At first I felt angry and scared. I gave in to self pity and said why Lord? My flesh was weak but my spirit was made strong when I remembered why. I asked Gods forgiveness and trusted in His reason for this. I wont ask why anymore as only He knows the reason and it will be revealed to me in time. Maybe so I can be a testimony to others by sharing. Just like every other trial in my life that I have faced before, this too will pass. His will be done, not mine. On Thursday, Sept 11, 2014, I was having pain in my left breast. So I put Voltaren gel on it. As I was rubbing it on I felt a lump. It hurt when I touched it. I cried myself to sleep that night. The next day I called to set up a mammogram for October 2. Was a rough, stressed day at work. Finding it hard to concentrate. Every night I checked and still finding the lump in the same place. Had mammogram and it confirmed there was something there. Doctor called on October 6 to schedule another mammogram and ultra sound. Had this done on October 9. Managed to keep it together until the tech said he was going to get the doctor. I was lying on that table, alone. I started to shake and cry. Then I prayed Lord please help me be strong, I know you are here with me. I am not alone. Saw the breast specialist on October 21 for a consult. One day at a time Lord, I am in your hands. Do with me as you will. Dr. wanted biopsy done that day, but I had to be off blood thinners for 5 days. She said she wanted to be wrong but from what she saw and felt, it didnt look good. Biopsy set for October 28. I lost my precious Aunt Sara to breast cancer in December 1976. Not even a month before I lost my Dad. Research has come a long way since then, and I am surrounded by members of the sisterhood of survivors. I have lots of support and I thank God for them. Had my biopsy today, so much pain, but had to be done. Now to wait for results. Had been 7 years since my last mammogram. Putting it off is something I should not have done. Too busy with work and home remodeling. Still praying for a good outcome to this. Only God knows the reason for this and He will get me through as always. My Lord can raise the dead, He can surely take this from me if He chooses. Pray for my husband and children, as they are going through this with me. And please ladies, dont forgot to have your mammograms. Love and hugs to all.
Posted on: Tue, 28 Oct 2014 18:36:58 +0000
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