I found myself last night going to sleep around 7:30 as it was becoming pitch black, my computer was losing battery life, and I was losing patience with few options for how to use my energy. I woke up around 3 am to the sound of a thousand frogs, rain showers, and a mild sense of irritation for feeling out of rhythm and yet knowing I could no longer lay in bed mulling over this transitory feeling. This last week in hawaii has certainly been an adjustment to say the least. I am reminded of when I hopped in the car to start over in LA. I had very little security to rely on and few options for directing my energy into monetizable vehicles. I find myself in similar territory, drastically different landscape, but familiar feelings of uncertainty, discomfort, and the notion that more walls will be coming down before others get built up. It feels like I have inducted myself into a new graduate class of hyper accelerated learning and am being challenged to keep up with the lessons as they roll in. The biggest lesson, perhaps is that just because you follow your heart, it does not mean you get a free pass in the educational process, in fact, it intensifies the process because now you have alerted the universe you are willing to become more vulnerable to the lessons that follow. There was many lessons I had to learn in LA, some of which I thought could cause me to drop this pursuit all together, and yet here we are. The big city, in some ways is easier to handle because of its suppressive environment, meaning emotions and clarity of thought become submerged under the surface, until of course the pressure becomes too much to bear, and you ultimately book a ticket for hawaii. Here however those barriers break down pretty fast I am noticing where the lessons become more obvious and emotions surface much quicker. These are the thoughts on my mind as I sip my organic coffee tonic, nibble on some stone ground chocolate, and contemplate my plans for today while writing for my chocolate book all while its still pitch black outside and the rain storms frequent on and off.... I suppose as long as I have my rituals I can integrate into almost any environment given the tools to do so... =)
Posted on: Tue, 01 Apr 2014 15:14:46 +0000
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