I gave the eulogy for my first husband, it was a great celebration today. Some people asked me if I would share what I said so here are what I hope were words that made him proud. When my son told me his father wanted me to do his eulogy, I was honored but I didn’t know what I would say; I was still struggling until the turnout last night. He had friends from all walks of life, because he had friends from all parts of and all the years of his life, once you became his friend you stayed his friend and so many came out to the first part of his celebration. Here we all are for the second part. I could clearly hear him laughing with joy at the turn out last night, and I am sure we can all hear him right now, He would love it. What can one say about Rick “Pops” Hembree SR, especially in mixed company, and in his church? From the moment I looked into those blue eyes I was hooked as any fish on a stringer behind his belly boat, I was from a family of five girly girls his held five wild boys, Ellen had those five boys in six years, and Rick was the middle. He got sisters, who adored him then and now, and I got two older and two younger brothers I still love today, time and distance mean nothing, I loved his family and he loved mine, that never changed we were all young, stupid and life was wild as were we. Neither of us was ready to calm down, even as we tried for a while to play house, neither of us would have changed a thing I loved him then and I love him now, just like almost every female he turned his smile and blue eyes at all his life. We are here to celebrate Richard Alan Hembree SR. He fought hard, he partied hard, he rode hard and he was a gatherer of friends of all ages. He loved who he loved with all that he was even if he would not abide by their wishes. He did life his way. He never wanted anyone to worry about him, he always said he was Fine and gave that smile. He gave freely in so many ways; he laughed loud and with all his being, even when he was laughing inappropriately, well really especially when he was being inappropriate. He would and did give people anything he had Even go without things himself to give to others, He had grown to be a man of simple needs and simple pleasures who lived in the moment with a glad and happy heart among treasured mementos of times past. He gained life long friends who adore him, by being genuinely “Big Rick” he never faked anything. He has people who would have (or have) taken a punch for him, who would have woken up in the back of a cop car or some back alley with him, who would have gotten up out of bed to go pick him up somewhere, or help him go help someone else in need. He was loud, often crude, the center of the action. He was also “Pops”, to kids all ages he loved so many people, but especially kids, he wanted to spend all his remaining time surrounded by them, telling them crazy things making them laugh, getting them in trouble, while putting up those fists, always play fighting them Asking to see their muscles, then showing them his muscles of which not a single child was left unimpressed. He asked all the kids about their boyfriends or girlfriends making them giggle or groan, he teased them all and they all loved Pops. Lately we talked often on the phone; we talked about his illness, He wanted to live as long as possible without letting his family know how sick he was and without showing it so his mother and others would not worry. He knew time was not on his side, but he did not worry about death, he told me that every time we talked, No he didn’t fear it, His belief was absolutely unwavering, he just didn’t want to miss out, he was celebrating life by each moment as it happened, he so wanted to watch all these kids grow up. He was very proud of each of his offspring, and he was proud of them for exactly who they are he didn’t want to change a thing about them. He laughed and got great joy out of things they each have done Which could be labeled “Just like their Dad” be it something sweet and sentimental to him or be it something crazy, he just loved them, Rick was a good parent to my son, he and his life long friends took that boy everywhere, and Rick loved the man his son became as so proud to be SR to his JR, Big to his Little When he became a single parent to three little girls, few folks thought he could do it, he was Not a Mr. Mom, Not in any traditionally defined role,. He was still genuine Rick but Oh how he loved those girls, He also loved talking about each of them. Being raised by him made them strong and capable women able to survive in this world singularly but also as a strong unit of siblings, he was especially happy they were all so close. He was brought to tears of gratitude knowing without doubt that all his kids loved him with all his flaws. “I make them crazy mad sometimes but they love me anyway” he told me and laughed that laugh he used so often. You all know that laugh of his. Rick left this Earth a very happy contented man in his soul, who had already made peace with the fact he was not going to live much longer, and he loved his life. I think he said it very well when he told me in mid June “I tell my kids I am fine but I tell my doctor the truth, and he tells me the truth, I hope the kids don’t know, but they are all so much smarter than I am, They take care of me. I like my life: I like the little place I live, I love my church and the family I have there, I have such good biker friends who are like brothers they know we have some different beliefs but that’s all separating us they take care of me too, they love me. I have my bike and I can still ride it, I go see Momma as much as I can, I hope this new medicine won’t make it where I can’t ride but I know that day will come the doctor said it would come. It would be nice for it to stay just like this watching them all keep growing.” A small sigh escaped followed at once with his happy excited voice “But it has been a great party! Glad I came” and of course laughter. Rick will always be here, we all have our own memories of him, we will carry him with us all of our lives he took his memories of all of us with him. He will be here in the faces of his kids and grandkids as they live their lives having known his love. He left here sooner than we thought he would, sooner than he thought he would few of us want go and circle our expiration date on a calendar and then wish it to be sooner rather than later. He did not have to suffer the indignities he knew were in his future due to his illness, he DID get to sit back and look at the sum total of his life here on Earth and be extremely happy with the results, He loved and knew he was loved in return, he was happy and at peace, what more could any of us ask for as our lives? He will always be here looking over all those he loves, he will watch you all grow older and be there celebrating your joyful times, and when you stumble he will be poking you with a stick to prod you back to your feet you will hear his laughter in your hearts memory and you will think “Pop’s would have loved this!”, he will be standing beside you those blue eyes twinkling that smile that hooks us on his face. Happy Trails Rick, we are so happy you came to the party.
Posted on: Wed, 16 Jul 2014 03:21:04 +0000
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