I got bored... It all happened a long time ago on a dark and rainy night, this night actually, having not eaten for a crippling 2 hours starvation had set in, my once round and luscious biceps had wasted away into two featherless chicken wings, desperate for sustenance i stumbled out of my man cave in to blinding darkness and unforgiving rain. It peppered me like the spit of that one teacher who never understood personal space, i blindly stumbled on. The first gut wrenching squish between my toes was what i can only assume a brave slug venturing out in the storm to find food for his slug babies, the second squish between my toes was likely his family, or dog shit, i dared not stop to find out. Finally after what seemed like an eternity, i got inside and found the holy grail, faintly humming, my fridge welcomed me with open arms, i quickly ran to it, first a kiss and some quick foreplay before i put myself inside it, first just 2 fingers, then my fist, then my entire upper body, i proceeded to rummaged its contents, but could find nothing that would not take lengthy cooking time, at this point my legs had wasted away and fallen off, desperately i grabbed onto the shelf with one hand, and continued to search for food as my legless torso dangled in the air. Suddenly my sensitive nose hairs some how detected the faint aroma of KFC! With no time to lose i rammed my face deep into the fridges back shelfs smashing jars of pickles and jam, thankfully my unusually long neck allowed me to reach the very back of the shelf, and there i found one solitary wicked wing. Wicked wing in hand i cried as i realized it was cold, all hope was lost, tears mixed with pickle juice ran down my face, i was going to die. Unwilling to accept this defeat i did what no man has ever done before, i bit down into cold kfc, and my God, it was like a whole new level of flavor one that hot kfc could only dream of becoming as the cold chicken slid down my throat i felt my power levels rising. Like Popeye and his spinach my biceps pumped up, my legs began to regrow!, I stepped back from the fridge, licking my fingers of the chicken grease. Whispering to myself, i vowed that i would not stop until all of mankind has tried cold kfc.
Posted on: Tue, 08 Jul 2014 12:12:36 +0000
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