I guess it was right up until that moment you said what you needed to say that I believed in what you told me for so many years. The same things my family believed in and thought was true. Today it was obvious that what you swore to me and to them, was not real. I do want to congratulate you though. Your goal at using the most innocent in all of this as a way to hurt me succeeded. The relationship and bond that I worked so hard on creating and maintaining between a boy and a father is now stifled and squandered under your “protection”. My six hours per week with someone that means more to me than anything will be what it is just as you have made sure of. Your protectors that said I was family murmur in the hallways wondering if I have the guts to look at them while you chuckle at your satisfaction of my concern over him and not of myself. That makes you smile now and perhaps that the smile you need to comfort yourself at night while our boy talks of listening to gunfire outside. Something he never had to or should have to be worried or concerned about. We didn’t see eye to eye and people who are getting further and further apart seldom do. Its a course where when two hearts can’t find a way to talk to each other any more grow more distant. It happens and happened to us and while its a shame that we aren’t able to find a way anymore...there is someone that doesn’t really know or understand all of this wondering why, when, how and if I care. I do and even if my hands are tied now as you want them to be...he will know I do. Seeing you and hearing you today as you were was almost surreal. As if every bit of what I knew was taken away in just a few words. I don’t hate you for this...I’m not angry at you for this. I just hurt for the one person in the three of us that wonders what will happen to him.
Posted on: Tue, 17 Sep 2013 04:28:37 +0000
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