I had a great afternoon with more of my family today, celebrating Christmas together in Devon. And, I have time with friends coming on the agenda tomorrow, and again on Saturday. Its the good stuff, for sure. After we dropped off my mom at her house, I headed back toward the 606, stopping at Wawa for a Diet Coke. As I stood outside drinking it (not quite wanting to hop back into the car just yet, preferring to enjoy the relative quite and calm of a Christmas evening on High Street) a young woman leaving the store stopped and said So, youre alone on Christmas, too? Without thinking I automatically said Yup. It dawned on me, at that moment, that alone and lonely are two distinctly different conditions. I am, literally, factually and in quite the singular sense, alone this evening. I am not by any means lonely. I am surrounded almost daily by the most special variety and class of friends and family, and over the past two days spent (almost) enough hours with them to hold me over until we get together again. This girl, in stark contrast, was as nearly as I could tell, the textbook definition of lonely. It was evident in how she carried herself, her demeanor and most certainly in her eyes. It was a bit awkward, and we exchanged no words or looks for the next several seconds. I had about finished my soda and she was still wrestling with the wrapper on a new pack of Newports, and I was ready to resume the trip home. In a voice sounding to me eerily, yet clearly paternal and rich with a tone of sympathy, I said Merry Christmas to you. She responded with a barely audible Thank you. You, too., wrapped in an almost smile. I went to my car and headed out of the parking lot, but as I drove off, the last 90 seconds really gnawed at me. Was I the first person to wish her a Merry Christmas today? If so, at this late hour, that is as sad as sad gets. If I was not the first, then those before me were possibly automatic and antiseptic, absent sincerity or heart in their delivery. I dont know her back story and wasnt inclined to scale a slippery slope by pressing for detail. (perhaps this is where I failed her) She didnt seem to me to be in some sort of dramatic pity me mode, but just carrying some sort of pain. Its people like her who make me wish toll takers a great day, clown around with servers in restaurants and tip as heavily - sometimes unreasonably so - as I see fit, hold the door for complete strangers, thank military personnel for their service, walk the building first thing and say good morning to all my co-workers, and try to make people smile when I get the chance. Sometimes it makes me feel good, sometimes it makes me feel great, but other times, like this evening, it makes me feel like my efforts may have fallen well short of the target, and been woefully inadequate. If nothing, maybe I left her thinking I was pretty nice for an old, bald white guy. Recognize and appreciate your blessings. Realize others, no matter what fetid condition you consider your life to be in that day, may be trying to escape a far more threatening demon. Try to bring a smile, or maybe just a little compassion to anyone you can. You never know if it will help, but conversely, you never know it wont. Take the shot. Hit or miss, you tried. And, just in case, Merry Christmas to you.
Posted on: Fri, 26 Dec 2014 00:58:01 +0000
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