I had an experience this past week that served to remind me that people take their cues from us about to be treat us…about what behavior is acceptable…about what we need and what we will tolerate. The specifics of the incident are not important but I found myself feeling taken for granted and unimportant. My immediate response to the situation was to become angry and withdraw because I had directed a considerable amount of time and energy that was less-than what I deemed to be evenly reciprocated. I soon realized, however, that through both my words and actions, I was transmitting cues that it was acceptable to position me in the “second chair,” and that it was okay to treat me as less-than important. So I started thinking about how my actions had contributed to the situation and what I might have done to bring about a different treatment or a different outcome. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that there was no ill-intent on the part of the person who precipitated my feeling unimportant. You see, we get so caught up in the business of living our lives that we don’t always pay attention to our actions and the impact that they can have on others. Granted we are all aware of the general guidelines for how to treat people with dignity and respect, but beyond that we don’t have the psychic energy to pay constant attention or give constant forethought to how our every word or action might impact others. I guess that is why it is important to coach people about how to treat us. In the absence of this kind of input, people will behave in a way that will serve what they believe to be their best interest. Just for today, think about a particular person or situation in which you are not being treated the way you would like. Think about the message you are transmitting to those in your sphere of influence about how you want to be treated. Think about how you can gently redirect the actions and behavior of others to bring about a different outcome. Above all, remember that you are an amazing ray of light who deserves to be treated with the highest dignity and respect from everyone else regardless of who they are or the power dynamics involved in your relationships. It is important to love yourself the way you want others to love you, for in reality that too is a message you transmit to the world and the world returns the energy in kind. And so it is.
Posted on: Mon, 26 Aug 2013 08:50:21 +0000
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