I had an unexpectedly profound shift happen in the middle of church today. I cried so hard I had to step out, and Im still processing it. But Ill at least share that I am a midwife, and I am not myself, my Whole Self without being a servant to Birth. Ive been at a loss for how to bring that back into my life in a sane way that nurtures me as much as I nurture my mamas. But today listening to a truly heart centered sermon on enduring and resurrection, it came to me that all I had to do was ask God to bring it back to me. Everything else would fall into place, and by asking God to do it, the pettiness of the politics and burn out from too many hard births and trying to prove Its value, these things could stay in the past, lessons learned, and what I love with all my being could be brought fresh to me. And I cried so hard, I had no idea how far away I had stuffed my love for birth, of babies who speak so clearly to me, and Ive not been honest with myself over how incomplete I am without that service, and passion in my life. Im still recovering from treatment,and have a bit to go on that, but I know without a doubt that I am suppose to, its my God Given Calling, that I am suppose to care for pregnant families. So now the praying begins- Please, Creator of all, bring me the practice that serves you, through Love.
Posted on: Sun, 20 Apr 2014 23:13:04 +0000
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