I had posted this back on September 3, 2011 and I think this would be needed at this time at the recent loss of my father. How ‘life goes on’ is largely up to us The Register-Herald Editor’s note: This column by the late Bev Davis originally was published on May 30, 2008. Davis passed away Aug. 1, 2010, of a sudden illness. In recent weeks, I’ve lost two friends. As I talked with their bereaved loved ones at the wake or funeral, sooner or later, someone sighed pensively, “Life goes on.” And so it does. For those still grieving, life takes a much different course. They need a special stamina to deal with a loved one’s personal effects, to cope with major changes in daily schedules, to face the day-to-day adjustments of the reality for grieving spouses that two have now become one. Life goes on for another friend who’s weathered two bouts with breast cancer. Now, after numerous rounds of chemo and radiation, test results show the presence of cancer in bones and vital organs. She asked me to pray, not for herself, but for her husband, who has watched the long, painful process that has now spanned several years. In spite of tremendous pain and loss, she remains focused outward. Life does go on, and whether our faith grows or shrinks hinges in large measure on our attitudes toward what is happening in the moment. We all know someone who’s just given up after losing a spouse. Driven by devastation and loss, they can no longer move forward. Others, however, grieve through the process but realize they, as the living, still have gifts, talents and life lessons to share with others. Led by a desire to serve, they find the grace to put one foot in front of the other and break a path of faith and courage for those who know them. My greatest admiration goes out to those who find the grit to make the changes to deal with disabilities that follow a stroke, keep the faith in the face of a terminal condition or find new ways to bless others when aging brings a whole new set of challenges. It’s encouraging to me to see my friends who’ve experienced such recent losses turning their attention toward what is positive and focusing outward. The bereaved hurt, but they know they will heal. Staring death in the face, another continues to find ways to savor every moment of life and stay vitally connected to those she loves. As we look around us and see people who are not yet able to find that stamina, we need to make an effort to help life go on in a positive way for them. It may mean investing some time in phone calls, long walks, short visits, some notes of encouragement. We need to keep connecting with them until they find the strength to reach out again and find ties that bind them to all that is good and satisfying and worthwhile. Life does go on. How it goes on — for us and for others — is largely up to us.
Posted on: Thu, 08 Jan 2015 23:50:03 +0000
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