I had stated before about my shy nature. Well, it all started in grade school. I had a huge crush on my third grade teacher. Fortunately, she was not a nun, but the obstacle was her being married, and her daughter was also in the class. The intriguing thing about her was not only her natural beauty, but also her German accent. This is the first time where a foreign speaking person was a teacher. My grandparents either had a Swedish or Italian accent, but German made my heart skip a beat. I studied like a college student going for the L-SATs. I wanted her to choose me, so I could impress her with my masterful intellect. Here is an eight-year-old boy wanting to impress a thirty something woman. This took courage. That year was the most successful for grades but was a disaster for love. I told a “friend” in confidence that I was in love with the teacher. He even admitted that she was pretty and promised to say nothing. When my feelings surfaced that the shortest kid in the class was in love with the teacher, my world came to complete halt. It was the last week of school. We were cleaning out desks, storing books for summer, cleaning erasers, emptying wastebaskets, and so on; the teacher called me to her desk. Thinking that it was for a project assignment, I proceeded to the front of the classroom. The teacher asked me to step into the hallway. Once out of hearing range, she proceeded to explain to me the reasons that my love for her would not happen. Was I not only humiliated and embarrassed, but also crushed that she knew my feelings. I stiffened up, agreed that it would never work, and proceeded to return to the classroom to receive the snide remarks from my classmates. From that point forward, I vowed never to fall in love again. I would be a bachelor for the remainder of my life or maybe join the priesthood. Like a turtle, all of this caused me to shrink into a shell and hide from everything and everyone for a long time. It is amazing how this stays with in my mind. She was my first love, and I even threw the “boys-hating-girls” routine out the window for my teacher. It was not until the eighth grade that I cracked the shell. It took me another two years to full emerge from it. It was another two years where my parents began to wish that I returned to the shell. Lessons learned. First, tell your inner feelings only to those proven trustworthy. Second, never fall in love with someone who has a daughter your age; instead fall in love with the daughter. Third, never be afraid to fall in love even if it ends in heartbreak. Bachelorhood or the priesthood was not in my future. I have determined that to make changes in our lives it is easiest to make those changes habits. Try it. It works.
Posted on: Sun, 15 Sep 2013 11:41:05 +0000
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