I had to share Jon Velies brilliant mind as to his idea for a screenplay about a movie about me. One word..... Brilliant. Yancey Red Corn A love story: Modern day Don Juan utilizes tribal sovereignty to cut a joint venture with the Mormon Church so he could marry 1,000 wives. Creates an army of children who mind their own business. Starring Will Farrell as Yancey Redcorn, Cameron Diaz, all of the actresses that ever were in Charlies Angels, tv show or movie, the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, Brownies Troop 248, the Pussycat Girls, J Lo, Mrs. Piggy, Meryl Streep (she loves Okla) Yoko Ono, Betty White, Hannah Montana, Paris Hilton, Perez Hilton, ginger and Marianne, Mrs. C, Joni Cunningham, Linda Lovelace, Morgana, Heidi Klum, Cher, Renee Richards, Oprah, Mia Perlman, the cast of Baywatch male and female, the Brady Bunch, Wilma Flintstone, Boy George, Jane Fonda, Hermeini Potter, Rapunzle, Helen of Troy, Sarah Jessica Parker, Gloria Estephan, Rosie Perez, Aunt Jemima, Chelsea Clinton, Chelsea Handler, Barbara Bush, Britanny, Madonna, the Bangles and 18 oompaloompas as his wives. Yancey and his sovereign protected band of wives take to the back roads of Oklahoma in a fleet of Good Times Vans searching for clues. Yanceys wives construct intelligent plans to solve all of Oklahomas problems such as teen pregnancy, meth and noodling, but Yancey and his best friend and talking dog Doobie Scoo are always sent into the dark spooky places where the end up impregnating more teenagers and doing all the meth. The plot thickens when the ghost of Howard Schnellenberger haunts the Border Crossing while Yancey and Doobie were minding their own business awaiting a Michael Hosty (played by Sir Laurence Olivier) when Calvin Steves (played by Johnny Depp) enters and asks Yancey if he wants a paper mister. Yancey asks for a Daily Oklahoman and a bar fight ensues. Calvin, Mike and the Ghost beat down Doobie and most of Yanceys wives, except for Miss Piggy who comes in with a flying karate chop. It turns out the ghost of Howard Schnellenberger wasnt a ghost but actually just Howard Schnellenberger who has been hanging around the Border Crossing since the nineties waiting for someone to pick up his tab. And he would have gotten away with it if it wasnt for that meddling Yancey Redcorn and his thousand wives and talking dog.
Posted on: Wed, 23 Apr 2014 00:57:58 +0000
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