I have a few things to say and it is with how I feel and will express them. If you feel that you need to block me or unfriend my then so be it. Cindy Crowe was my sweet..sweet...friend. I dont refer to her as a (Bestie), BFF, etc. She was my friend and I loved her with all my heart. I love her still! When Cindy passed away I had so many emotions. Anger, Denial, Sad and lost :( Yet, my anger was before she got sick! I was angry with the disease that made her so sick. I was angry when people would come around her and they were sick. Her immune system was so low. Through the years I was very protective and concerned about her. If I was sick or Trandon, I would tell her so she wouldnt come to the house and I wouldnt go to her home. I was angry that when she got sick this last time the medical facility she went to would not prescribe her Tamiflu and the meds that Cindy needed because she didnt test postive for the flu. She called me several times the week before having to go into the hospital, Upset and discouraged. Cindy was smart and knew her body! Close friends share everything. We shared each others Joy, Sorrow, Anger and truly were there for one another in time of need. After she passed I had several people telling me I was posting to much about my sweet friend. I coward down and gave in and had to go through her loss with prayers to the Good Lord above and prayers from TrueFriends and Family that love me. I was even blocked by someone that was very..very..special to Cindy and it hurt my heart, Yet in spite of it all. I still continued and still pray for her family, friends and me and my son. I will post about her when I feel like it. Each one of us is the Lords creation and we are all unique. So the Love we have for our loved ones is different. You cant replace a loved one that you have lost. We go on with our dailty routine and you learn to live with the Loss but you never get over it. Im thankful for my childhood friends, Friends Ive made through my profession and on here. I love each of my friends in my own way and for the reasons they love me. Its not the time in which you know someone, It is how you spend that time and how true you are to that friend. A friend will be there for you when you are sick, sad, happy, A friend will let you vent when you are angry and you will talk to one another about what is bothering you. They will give you advice, A shoulder to lean on and a ear to listen. With Cindy I was blessed to have that. When we lose a loved one a piece of our heart goes with them and I will never...fill that spot that is where my loved ones lived! I do have a few regrets with Cindy. I wished we had taken pictures together! Even though I have pics of me on FB, Cindy shared that feeling with me. She didnt like her picture taken when she wasnt feeling her best. Thank the Lord that I have a mind that has a 1000 pictures of her in my head. I do regret that she never got to hear me sing at the RoundUp. Yet, once again the Lord allowed us to sing in our vehicles and homes! I do regret when she had the Christmas party after we ate at Couchs and we went to her home that I didnt go to sidelines with her to dance. I had gone before! Yet I wanted to go and see another sweet friend that night. I miss her cooking :) Me and Trandon talked about that just yesterday. I miss her mexican cornbread, Her hashbrown casserole, Soup, Her yummy desserts. What I miss the most about her ...Money cant buy! I miss her smile, The way she smelled, Her hugs and her I love you when she was leaving our home or me leaving her home. Thank God I saved some of her messages and when I feel like it..I can play them to hear her voice. Me and Trandon miss her coming over and watching scary movies with us, Eating with us! She loved..loved..my soup! I miss her falling asleep on my end of the couch. I miss her bringing Izzy over and Trandon feeding Izzy peanuts. Cindy didnt know some of my friends and I didnt know some of hers. We all have friends that others dont know. Yet, I know...she loved me and my Son. I know how much she loved her sis, Her sweet mama and her girls and little Bella. We talked about everything and somethings will forever stay in my heart and nobody will know. That was between me and her ..as the things I shared with her. I will forever miss our garage sale adventures, Our cleaning together and I got her hooked on Milos Tea and the delish honey buns from Walmart. I miss us comping together and Cindy was a Blessing in my Life. If you unfriend me..I will still pray for you...but when I am missing her..I will remember her. I think of her every single day! I ask the Lord every single night to kiss her on the cheek for me and my many loved ones in Heaven. Some deal with grief in their own way. I am not over thinking!!! I was trying to please everyone else and I no longer will do that. I will cherish her memory in my heart, whether it is on FB or a social network. How sad would it be if we were not missed from this Earth. Even though my Life has forever changed! I will keep her memory alive and I know that she is a peace! She no longer struggles to breathe, She doesnt have to worry about germs and getting sick. Her shoulder no longer hurts and her heart no longer carries some burdens. Her smile lights up the sky with the sun in the day and the stars at night! I love you my crazy girl! Me and Trandon love you and will forever cherish you. I cherish my body pillow you gave me and I sleep with. I cherish the micro fiber pillow that is red that you gave me because you were worried about my neck and back. I cherish your clothes I bought or we traded..LOL! I cherish you and I will never forget you and I just keep Counting Stars until one day Im with the Lord, You and my many loved ones I have lost in my 50 years on Earth! As you...You would always call me..Tam, I love you Cindy Lou!
Posted on: Sat, 31 May 2014 03:50:58 +0000
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